50 Ways to Leave Your 40s

Way of the Day: JUST KEEP BREATHING

2010-03-29T08:11:00.000-07:00

Newborn babies can do it with their eyes closed. So what's the big deal, right? Well, there's breathing, and then there's breathing! Just ask the midwife, the athlete, the asthmatic. Ask the opera singer or the auctioneer. Ask anyone who does yoga or meditates. There are lots of ways to breathe.

You may think of it as just a nose-mouth-and-lungs thing, but in fact the oxygen exchange of respiration takes place within every cell of the body. Breathing is one of your autonomic functions, doing its thing whether you're thinking about it or not. But unlike the body's other autonomic functions -- the beating of the heart, digestion and such -- breathing is within your conscious control. And that, my friend, is the key to the kingdom!

Through breath, you can use your body to relax your mind. Through breath, you can use your mind to relax your body. Want to try it? Here are three breathing exercises from integrative-medicine specialist Andrew Weil, M.D.

Preparing to Exit

2010-02-09T06:46:00.000-08:00

Now it comes to the Last Day of my Forties, and I'm gonna make it a good one: first, a long, hot bath, and then some serious shopping! Just happen to have a few Benjamins in my pocket, compliments of my mama. (Thanks, Mom!)

By the way, as long as I'm blogging, LET ME INVITE YOU TO MY BIG FIVE-OH, DARLING! It's at the home of my dear friend and esteemed coauthor, Peggy Spencer, on Saturday, Feb. 13, from 2 to 5 in the afternoon. We're asking people to BYOB and/or bring a little snackie-something-wonderful to share. Email me for the address, will you, love? (sheilakey@newmexico.com) Because the soiree simply won't be as much fun without you!

Tah-tah for now. See you on the other side!

New Moon = Clean Slate

2010-01-15T02:04:00.000-08:00

Two weeks into the new year, and if you're like me -- like most people, I'd wager -- your shiny new resolutions of a fortnight ago are already showing a bit of tarnish. Slipped up on the diet? Fell out of the daily exercise routine? Still sneaking the occasional smoke?

Well, before you consign your resolutions to the trash heap of history, mark this year's try a failure, and set your sites warily -- or, perhaps, wearily -- on next January 1st, let me point out that the calendar offers up at least a dozen fresh starts before 2011 dawns. New Moons, they're called, and whether or not you happen to be up at this wee hour, you've got one hanging outside your window right now!

That good ol' "dark o' the moon" ushers in a new lunar cycle every month, and with it, a whole new chance to start fresh. So here's to your Renewed Resolutions. May they shine as brightly as the Full Moon, two weeks hence.

And if they don't? Fuhgeddaboudit! There'll be another New Moon coming along on Feb. 13th. And another on the infamous Ides of March. And another the night before Tax Day. And another and another -- May 13th, June 12th, July 11th, and so on and so forth, at more or less 4-week intervals, ad infinitum.

So... Finnegan, begin again! Why don't'cha?

Dr. Peg publishes online

2010-01-14T21:48:00.000-08:00

Here's an article I wrote for My Family Doctor on tips to take home after your doctor visit. Enjoy!

Word of Web

2010-01-14T14:24:00.000-08:00

Well, lookee HERE! 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s got listed as the "Deal of the Day"! Thanks, 40thbirthdaygiftsonline.com!

Remembering Lesli

2009-12-22T03:16:00.000-08:00

Longest night of the year, and I'm tossing and turning, dipping in and out of sleep. It's not visions of sugar plums but rather snippets of to-do lists that dance in my head. And not really dance, either. More like lords a'leaping, these last-minute lists are.

But what's really gotten me up out of my warm bed this longest night to shiver in the glow of my computer screen is the thought of Lesli. Today (actually, 12/21/09) would have been her 50th birthday, and I forgot all about it until today had become tomorrow.

When the story of a friendship begins with two babies' being plunked into the same playpen while their moms visited, you know the reminiscences must be many and varied. But since this blog's overarching theme is a celebration (alright, and a commiseration) of aging, let me focus -- as Lesli did -- on the wrinkles across her brow.

Of course, she didn't have any! Being a tender young teen, she glowed with a porcelain perfection inherited from her mother. But with a bluster more like her father's, she'd point at her forehead and implore me, "Key! If you ever see me doing this," {eyebrow raise} "tell me to stop, okay?" What's that? "Seriously," she went on, her eyes like saucers and one hand now tracing the furrows created by her sharply elevated eyebrows. "Don't let me do this. I don't want to get wrinkles."

"Pippin," I said (we always called each other by our last names), "you're 16. I don't think you really need to worry about wrinkles just yet."

As it turned out, she didn't really need to worry about wrinkles ever. Cancer took her at age 44, and if by then her furrowed brow had begun to stick, well, I just don't remember. To me, her face will always glow with porcelain perfection -- rather like the sky outside my window this very moment.

How long have I dwelt in reverie?! The longest night is at an end.

Happy birthday, Lesli!

We're On Facebook!

2009-12-21T10:01:00.000-08:00

We have joined the swelling ranks of midlifers doing social media networking on Facebook. Come visit our page and become a fan!

Our page title is the same as the book title.

See you there!

Late 80s and Still Limber

2009-12-16T07:14:00.000-08:00

In the category of Way #5: S-t-r-e-t-c-h---I-t---O-u-t, comes this Facebook message from an old classmate of mine:

"A friend of my Mom's who is in her late 80's dropped a container of sugar packs. She was helping set up the dining room for after Mom's funeral. I go over to help her but she gets down on her knees like she is still in her 40's and we pick them up. So knowing how slow my mom was, I asked, 'How do you stay so limber?' She said, 'Yoga!' Maybe I should start walking and doing calisthenics again so I can stay in my 40's and not age so fast."

Tell it, Dean! Dean and I, together with all our classmates from Williston (N.D.) High School's Class of '78, are now "leaving our 40s," right on schedule. Nothing we really can do about that. Oh, but we CAN do daily stretching and strengthening exercises, as he suggests. Thus we may enjoy many more years -- indeed, decades! -- as limber lads and lasses, effectively s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g---o-u-t our quality of life.

If you're like me, one of the first things squeezed out by an over-full schedule is exercise. I hope, during this busy holiday season, that you'll find the time each day to walk for 15 minutes or more, and to s-t-r-e-t-c-h through all your hard-working muscle groups. As Tony the Tiger likes to say, "It's grrrrrrrrrreat!"

T minus 3 months and counting...

2009-11-17T08:19:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm actually a week late with this (Thanks, flu, and good riddance!). But as of seven days ago -- i.e. the 10th -- I'm within 3 months of The BIG FIVE-OH. Gosh, listen to me, slinging the numbers: "seven days," "the 10th," "3 months," "Five-O." Not that anyone's counting, right? But YES!! The sense of DREAD is starting to MOUNT! And this despite even writing a book about the joys of "leaving your forties."

Help! Help! Anyone else out there feeling the dread of 'reeling in the years'?

I see from Facebook that Val, one of my Williston (ND) High School classmates, is turning 50 today. Yeah, I guess the entire Class of '78 is lined up to do so, now, right? Who else is with us? Stand up and be counted, Dear Ones!!! "Turning 50 and proud of it!"

Alright then, how 'bout "Turning 50 and there ain't nothin' we can do about it!"

Happy Birthdays, Boyzz

2009-11-07T23:30:00.000-08:00

With two birthday boys in the house this weekend, it's been an indulgent couple of days, and I expect my Weight Watchers weigh-in on Monday will confirm as much. Sigh... But why complain? My beautiful son is stretching toward teendom, and my beautiful husband is almost three years past cancer treatment and going strong. Life is sweet! So let us eat cake and have it, too, and may all groaning scales be damned. Happy Birthday, everyone, whenever yours happens to be.

It's that Wonderful, Colorful Time of Year

2009-10-06T07:05:00.000-07:00

...and I'm not talking fall foliage -- though that's always a sight for sore eyes, too. No, I'm referring to the painted skies over Albuquerque during this city's signature event: BALLOON FIESTA! Shutter bug that I am, I naturally do my level best (or, let's say, my upwardly shooting best!) to help win this Kodak-sponsored spectacle the distinction of World's Most Photographed Annual Event. Here's a tiny (and yet, gigantic) sample from my accumulated scads of balloon pix, doing double duty as a shout out to all my old pals in Tucson and the surrounding Sonoran Desert, where the majestic saguaros grow. Yeehaw!

Okay, I'll give you another hint

2009-01-09T17:45:00.000-08:00

As I launch the CHANGING MOON journaling group tomorrow (Sat., 1/10, 5-7 p.m., at The UPS Store at Central & Yale SE in Albuquerque), the focus of my talk will be CREATION MYTH. Bring your journal, come listen to a lovely little creation myth of Caribbean origin, and be prepared to apply the creation-myth concept to yourself.

What are YOU creating in your life in this New Year?

I can't wait to meet you! Bring your friends, too, okay? 'Cuz I can't wait to meet them either.

Love Love Love
Sheila

Please come this Saturday!

2009-01-08T17:26:00.000-08:00

You know what this Saturday is?

It's 2009's first Full Moon. And it's the official start of StudioFiftyForty's premier journaling series: CHANGING MOON.

I've been running all over the Duke City posting posters*. Have you seen any of them? Are you wondering, "What the heck is journaling, anyway?" Yes, well, sometimes the posters I design forget to mention the most helpful tidbit. In this case, for instance, I should'a thought to include the words "FIRST SESSION IS FREE." Because it is.

So -- hey! The rest you can learn when you come over on Saturday, right? Please join me and a small, wonderful group of others at CHANGING MOON's Official Launch, this Saturday, Jan. 10, from 5-7 p.m., at The UPS Store at Central & Yale, near UNM in Albuquerque.

Looking forward to seeing your smiling face,
Sheila

* Don't let me forget to thank Peggy Spencer, the right-good doctor and my beloved coauthor, who did offer to help with poster distribution. Bless her heart! Thanks, Peggy!)

You are cordially invited (and so are all your friends!)

2008-12-17T14:02:00.000-08:00

CHANGING MOON

2008-12-16T18:03:00.000-08:00

Hiya. Sheila here.
If you're like me, you embrace the notion of New Year's resolutions. Indeed, you embrace the resolutions themselves --- often the same ones, year after year --- until about February or so. Okay, maybe late-January.

But what if we could extend the "new-year-ness" of the year? What if a clean slate -- a clean start -- came along, oh, say, every month or so? Just in time (in other words) for you to rededicate yourself to the cause!

Well, my friends, that is the very gift the Moon gives us:
Every month a New Moon.
Every month a clean slate.

What's more, every lunar month gives us a Full Moon, the perfect occasion for checking progress and reflecting on our own coming-to-fullness.

This is the principle behind (and beneath and throughout) CHANGING MOON, the Journal-Writing Series I'm launching with a free "demo" session on Saturday, Dec. 27, from 5 to 8 p.m., at the UPS STORE near UNM (Central & Yale SE in ABQ). I hope you can come. AND that you'll help me spread the word.

Please forward this link to your writerly friends, your "journaling" friends, your friends who love New Year's resolutions! Anyone you can think of, who might be interested.

CHANGING MOON is the premier presentation of StudioFiftyForty.com, my new (well, newish) "sole proprietorship" and a natural outgrowth of 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s, the book I wrote with medical expert Peggy Spencer, M.D. Someday, I will grow StudioFiftyForty.com into the "the online gift shop for cool people of a certain age." Meanwhile, I'm bringing this baby out to meet the public in real space. Even if "journaling" ain't your bag, I hope you'll show up for the launch party on 12/27.

Thanks to the magically well-timed offer and boundless generosity of UPS Store Manager Mary Ann Mitchell-Carr and her family, IT'S TURNING INTO QUITE AN EVENT! Mary Ann's brother, Donald Mitchell, a professional caterer, will provide coffee, teas, cocoa, and sweet nibbles. Mary Ann has ordered in 50 chairs (fifty! as in Fifty Ways to Leave Your 40s!). I'm preparing a special little piece of "book art" to hand out as party favors.

OH! & WE'LL HAVE DOOR PRIZES!!!

Tell your friends, will you, will you? And plan to come! Saturday, Dec. 27, at the UPS Store near UNM (at Central & Yale SE, in ABQQ). Try to be there by dark!

Hope to see you then!
Love, Love, Love (that ever-lovin' "Way #47")
Sheila

P.S. Stay tuned for details -- dates, rates & offerings.

Tune in, Ft. Collins!

2008-10-27T13:25:00.000-07:00

Sheila's on the radio again
namely,
"Memos from Life"
with host Barbara Bue
Monday, Oct. 27th, from 6 to 7 p.m.
on KRFC 88.9 FM or online at krfcfm.org.
Tune in if you get the chance.

Happy Birthday, Deborah Cleere!

2008-08-08T17:26:00.000-07:00

Oh-eight, oh-eight, oh-eight. I heard the Chinese chose this particular date -- or lobbied hard for the Olympics in '08 so's they could choose this date -- because 8 is the most auspicious of digits in their culture. Well, I've watched this one coming with a smile on my face, because ever since I found out that my friend Deborah Partridge was born on 08-08-58, I've been able to figure that 08-08-08 would mark her 50th.

Happy Birthday, Deb! You survivor you!

When I saw 08-08-08 coming, I knew I must---MUST!---break my silence and blog. I do enjoy the number-patterned dates --- and that's about as far as my love of numbers goes. Me and math? Nahhh...

But listen! There's a smack beautiful storm right on top of me as I type. Here in the desert this time of year, a gardener can see storms pouring rain all around, but nary a drop comes her way. So I really must go pull a big plastic garbage can under the downspout.

I'll be back. And soon!

Love Love Gush!
Sheila

Our SouthWest Writers Gig coming up

2008-07-19T16:57:00.001-07:00

excerpt from The SouthWest Sage, the Voice of SouthWest Writers

How a Couple of ‘Accidental Coauthors’ Let the Muses In
Tuesday, August 19, 7 to 9 p.m.

Establishing a plan for the article or book you’re writing is
never a bad idea, of course, but—have you noticed?
Sometimes the project has ideas of its own. Authors Sheila
Key and Peggy Spencer, MD, will discuss the wild,
wonderful (and, at times, worrisome) magic that intruded
early and often during the writing of their book, 50 Ways to
Leave Your 40s: Living It Up in Life’s Second Half, and how
these divine interventions resulted in a better book. Listen!
If these two women—a couple of opposites who didn’t even
meet until halfway through “50/40’s” development—could
manage to go with the flow, then so can you. Sheila and
Peggy will share ideas for knocking holes in that writer’s box
of yours, so your muses can breathe!

Peggy Spencer has a B.A. from the University of California
Santa Cruz and an MD from the University of Arizona. She
completed a residency at UNM, is board certified in Family
Medicine, and works as staff physician at the UNM Student
Health Center and adjunct faculty at the School of
Medicine. Winner of the SWW 2006 Best Essay award, she
writes a column for the Daily Lobo answering health
questions, and contributes articles to UNM Parent Matters
and UNM Today.

Sheila Key is an award-winning writer and graphic designer
who has freelanced for publications ranging from corporate
business journals to New Age magazines. She worked in
radio for ten years in Minnesota, Wisconsin and elsewhere,
arriving in Albuquerque in 1994 when her husband became
general manager of KUNM FM. Notably, it was the SWW
2003 writing contest that convinced Sheila to developing
the book proposal. She won SWW awards that year and the
next, and by then the proposal was ready. Thanks SWW!

Another Radio Interview for Sheila!

2008-06-29T10:54:00.001-07:00

Sheila is interviewed by Women's Watch host Carolyn Firestone on WBZ out of Boston.

Click here to listen.

Give me an "A!" Give me another "A!" Give me an "R!" Give me a "P!"

2008-06-21T12:56:00.000-07:00

On the way back from Crested Butte, I stopped for the night in Gunnison, Colorado. Little motel on the edge of town, one of the few not filled up by the softball tournament that had packed the area for the weekend.

The plump young woman behind the desk said, "Two queen beds, $59."

I nodded, "Okay."

"Got any discounts or anything?"

"No." I never have discounts. If I ever manage to clip coupons, I always leave them wherever I'm not. "Oh, wait! I'm a member of AARP! Does that count?"

"Sure does," she smiled.

I was psyched! My first discount as an Elder American! Woo hoo!

I felt like I had made a rite of passage. Small, but significant.

You see, for years I heard my friends complain, "I got an invitation to join AARP! Man, do I feel old!"

As each of them passed the fifty year mark, we'd razz them. "Did you get your AARP card yet?" Ha ha ha.

So, when it came my turn to see the big 5-0 on the horizon, I decided to get pro-active. I joined them before they could recruit me. I had my membership before my 50th birthday. Embrace the change! Be proud of your age! Bounce right out of your 40s and into AARP!

I signed my name with a flourish and strutted down to my room.

Peg does event in Crested Butte, Colorado

2008-06-17T17:04:00.001-07:00

Here are some pics from the reading and signing event at Blue Moon Books in Crested Butte last Saturday. It was a nice, intimate gathering. This is the sandwich board out front. Can you make out where it says "Tonight Only!" I love that. As if authors normally do nightly appearances for a month or something. Anyway, it made me feel special.

Here's David, the owner and proprieter of Blue Moon Books. See how he cleared off the back wall to display our book? Nice, eh? He also hopped on his town bike (everyone rides everywhere in "CB" as the locals call Crested Butte) and rode up to the liquor store to come back with wine and a 6 pack of............drum roll please...........Blue Moon Beer! He was very hospitable. Thank you David!

And here we all are - the intimate gathering of which I spoke. Five guests made it a close and casual event. That's me in the middle in purple. Some of the others are locals, some were visiting from other parts of the state. I talked a bit and read a bit and we had some nice conversation about aging and other life topics.

Thanks again to Blue Moon Books! I highly recommend this cozy shop if you're ever in the area.

More Rocky Mtn photos

2008-06-09T10:10:00.000-07:00

There is still plenty of snow on the ground, but water is pouring off the mountains everywhere you look. Spring is just beginning here. These little sprouts become plants with huge leaves that staff runners use for costumes in the 4th of July parade in town.

Back in the Colorado Rockies

2008-06-08T20:40:00.000-07:00

Last year and the year before, Sheila and I came up to this idyllic spot in the Colorado Rockies for writing retreats. This year, book finished, I'm here solo, in my usual role as camp doc. I drove up from Albuquerque today, arriving about an hour before sunset. Now I'm seated in the familiar cabin, starting to shiver in the night that is expected to reach 29 degrees F by morning, listening to the roaring of the river, engorged by Spring melt. I'll have better pictures to post later this week, once I have daylight. For now, here are just a few from my drive up here.

Peg leaves her 40s!

2008-06-07T13:22:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday, the 1st of June, 2008, I officially left my own 40s behind.

Happy My Birthday to you!

I have to admit, in spite of coauthoring a whole book on the subject, I had some trepidation about reaching this particular milestone myself. I mean, we wrote a lot about how wonderful this time of life can be, how celebration-worthy, how joyous. And I do believe all that. I also got a little short of breath when contemplating my own passage. And I wondered: I can talk the talk, but can I walk the walk?

I'm happy to report that so far it has been just fine. I woke up that morning wondering what 50 would feel like, and was pleased to discover that, of course, it felt just like forty-nine and 364/365ths. I felt no different from the day before. *forehead smacker* Of course I didn't! We change in increments, after all, and 50 is just a number. I left my 40s the way I live my life: fairly quietly and one day at a time.

The day of my birthday I played in a soccer tournament for women over 30, and I am very proud to tell you that we won second place! Not half bad for a half century, eh? The team insisted I take the trophy home for my birthday, so now I have a daily reminder of how I started out Leaving My 40s like Way #8: Play Ball!"

Later that day (after a delicious nap a la Way #7: Pause) my wonderful husband and kids took me to dinner at my favorite gourmet pizza and salad place, then we came home, ate chocolate (an absolute necessity on any of my birthdays) and watched a feel-good movie (August Rush) together. No big deal. No fireworks. The day wound down and imperceptibly slipped into June 2.

We are planning to have a big party later in the summer, but even if we didn't, I'd be happy. I'm healthy; I have a great family; I love my work. What more could I want at any age?

Bookworks

2008-05-24T22:20:00.000-07:00

Our last stop on our Southwest Book Tour. Back home in Albuquerque! We were graciously hosted by Bookworks on Rio Grande.

On the white board in the foyer. Love that "no angst allowed"!

The in-store display.

Here we are doing our thing. What IS that green thing Sheila has? Google "Hoberman Sphere" or read our book!

There's Sheila leading the group in one of our "Cool Moves."

Sheila reading. Note the table with our books behind her.
Here's Peg reading one of her "Doc in the Box" selections:

Here we are signing our books. We sold 22 books at the event itself! Thank you so much to Bookworks and to all our friends, old and new, who came to the event!

New World Library staff

2008-05-15T12:02:00.000-07:00

Here they are, the faces of the dream team at New World Library! Of special import to us: Kristen (front row, left end), Georgia (front row, 2nd from left), Kim (front row, second from right) and Munro (back row, right end). We LOVE you people!!!!!!!

By the way, this picture came from an article from the Novato Advance about New World Library, which mentions our book! Check it out.

Arizona Trip Pics - Tucson

2008-05-10T20:29:00.001-07:00

Antigone Books is a charming store on South 4th Avenue. Independently run, chock full of great titles, and very hospitable to us!

We were excited to see our book in the window, along with a poster about our event. We shared the event with Ellen McMahon, a local author whose essay "Through The Looking Glass" appears in a collection of midlife transition stories titled The Oldest We've Ever Been.

Here's Sheila inside Antigone with yet another display of our book!

Two of Peg's professors from medical school days delighted us by coming! Larry Moher on the left, Ron Pust on the right. Thanks so much!

Sheila signing!

We went out for beer and tapas afterwards with some dear old friends of Peg's. From left: Fred Edson, Sheila, Elissa Fazio-Rhicard, Margie Puerta. Thanks for coming to cheer us on!

Maurice Grossman, an Arizona ceramics celebrity, graced us with his sparkling presence.

Elissa, Peg, and Eric Fazio-Rhicard. Love you guys!

Arizona Book Tour pics- Phoenix

2008-05-07T21:07:00.000-07:00

Here we are, waiting patiently for our turn with Pat McMmahon at KAZT.

And there he is, the man himself! We had a lot of fun with this interview. He does a news and events show that lots of Phoenicians watch --thank you Pat!

This is Sheila outside Channel 3, where we went for our next TV interview.

Here we are being silly posers with the cardboard cutouts of station staff. The pink lady between us is our lovely host, Lisa, of the show Your Life From A to Z. She interviewed us in between the Quincinera fashion show and the Sushi chef!

And then it was on to our evening event, a "Meet the Authors" soiree at the Duck and Decanter. I was so busy schmoozing and signing that I didn't take pictures! Sheila, do you have any from the event itself?

The lovely and talented Karen Mettler, one of our hosts at "The Duck."

Radio Interview On Live The Day

2008-05-01T15:17:00.000-07:00

Click here to listen to a radio interview of Sheila and Peg on Live the Day Radio!

Off to Arizona!

2008-04-30T07:48:00.000-07:00

Peg and I will be at DUCK & DECANTER, at 1651 E. Camelback Road in Phoenix tomorrow night, (Thursday, May 1) beginning at 6 p.m., and at ANTIGONE BOOKS, at 411 N. 4th Avenue in Tucson on Friday, May 2, beginning at 7 p.m. Hope you can join us.

Meanwhile, we'll be racing between Phoenix TV stations tomorrow morning, as our fabulous publicist, Kim Corbin, has lined up interviews for us at both KAZT-TV (we'll be "live" on "The Pat McMahon Show" around 8:45 a.m.) and Channel 3 (we'll be taping a segment for "Your Life A to Z"). DOES ANYONE HAPPEN TO KNOW the call letters for Channel 3? Or, for that matter, the channel number for KAZT? I should be googling 'em both, I know, but I've gotta go pack a bag before today's flight, and in order to do that, I definitely need to decide what to wear!

Okay, so off I go. Then off WE go. And THEN (hopefully) off YOU'll go, to attend one event or another. And if not you, then hopefully, every last friend of yours in the greater Phoenix and Tucson areas! Did you email them about going? No? Well, as I SO like to say, "tick-tock, y'all!"

Love Love Love
Sheila

This just in: "50/40" getting some good placement

2008-04-25T12:46:00.000-07:00

...from my sister Theresa in Denver, who had just received her copy of the book from amazon.com:

"P.S. ... PLUS, I saw your book on a table as I entered Barnes & Noble yesterday. Right there, right as you come in! : ) "

And a few days ago, from my brother Pat, in Minneapolis:

"I bought your book. Congrats. They had five copies in the self-help section at my local B&N. The book was on the end of the shelf with the cover facing out, so was easy to find. I'll send it down to get signed one of these days..."

Thanks, Sibs! Glad to hear "50/40" is getting some good placement. Here at our B&N, I found it (with help!) on the very bottom shelf, with only the spine facing outward. Ah, but my crafty coauthor has taken to rearranging bookshelves wherever she finds it, to make sure that ours is the cover facing outward. Let others show their (book's) spine!

Love Love Love
Sheila

Arizona Here We Come!

2008-04-25T11:42:00.000-07:00

In less than a week, we will be heading out on our Arizona tour. We are excited!

My dear friends the Mettlers, founders and owners of the famous Duck and Decanter shop in Phoenix, have very generously offered to host a book event there for us on May 1. Here is their flyer:
Please, please, tell any and all Phoenix area friends about this event!

Note bene - they can just come for a signed book if they don't want to pony up the bucks for the wine and horsdoevres. Just come on down!

YOU are cordially invited to promote this baby!

2008-04-21T08:46:00.001-07:00

MEGA-THANKS to All Commenters

2008-04-20T19:30:00.000-07:00

Or shall I call you "commentators"?

"What commentators?" you may well ask, as this blog has received so few comments. Well, mostly I'm talking about the 13 good souls who allowed the "50/40" excerpt at BoomerCafe.com to climb so high on the site's Most Discussed list. These (lucky number) 13 include our publicist Kim Corbin; my dear friend Diane Arnold; my sister Kathleen Imes; an old (okay, middle-aged) classmate of mine, Angela Beauchman Palmer, with whom I went to school from first grade through senior year; Gina Pera, a former editor of mine (and, for a long time now, a very good friend) who happens to be closing in on the publication of her own book (Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?); Lindy Gold, one of my dearest Albuquerque friends, who handles marketing for Classical KHFM; Reina Romero, a mom from my kids' school; and Stephanie Freeman, one of my friends from San Diego days (and today!). We also received comments from some of the BoomerCafe folks themselves, including Cindy La Ferle, David Henderson, and last but not least, "BoomerCafe Guys." Thanks, everybody!

Wait! You count only 11, you say? Yes, well, Peg and I make 13. I guess I can thank us, too! Why not?

Now.... WHO wants to leave a comment right here at the "50 Ways" blog? Come on... don't be shy!

Love, Love, Love,
Sheila

Look--- we made "me*"!

2008-04-20T13:04:00.000-07:00

Check it out! From page 33 of the May/June issue of me* magazine, a publication of the National Association of Baby Boomer Women, it's a sweet little review pairing us with no less a bestselling author than Richard Carlson, Ph.D., he of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff fame. Yahoo! Thanks me*!

(*Oh yeah, about that asterisk... The mag's lower-case title, according to its cover, stands for both "My Entertainment" and "My Empowerment." And also, of course, "me" in the traditional, "gonna-take-some-time-for-me" sense.)

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

Check out what appeared in the March 24th issue of The Sun. Can you believe this? Please know that the headline was their idea, not ours. And no, that offer of "$2400.00 a month forever!" has nothing to do with our book.

But this is some mighty nice exposure, just the same. Our thanks to everyone involved -- especially our publicist, Kim Corbin.

What do these reviews say, you wonder? Yeah, they're pretty hard to read as little, tiny jpegs, aren't they? Well, let me fetch my spectacles and see if I can make the articles more readable, below.

Love, Love, Love!
Sheila

The me* article:
50 Ways to Leave Your 40s -- Living It Up in Life's Second Half
By Sheila Key and Peggy Spencer, M.D.

"50 Ways to Leave Your 40s" is one of those books you can pick up from time to time and sift through it like a treasure box, finding a different gem each time.

Divided into four sections---Body, Mind, Soul and Heart---the authors use inspiring and funny real life examples that encourage boomers to enjoy the ride and the wisdom that comes with age. Each chapter includes an essay, as well as activities to encourage living life to its fullest. The entertaining writing style and intriguing sidebars make this an irresistible tonic for midlife blues.

(Parenthetically, the review of the Richard Carlson effort reads...
Handbook for the Spirit
Edited by Richard Carlson, Ph.D., and Benjamin Shield, Ph.D.
Written with the premise that a spiritual foundation is the basis on which all the elements of our lives rest, "Handbook for the Spirit" is a collection of admired spiritual leaders of our time, writing about their relationship to the Divine. The book includes a wonderfully diverse collection of original writings from 25 visionaries, including Mother Teresa, the Dalai Lama, Rev. Michael Beckwith, Shakti Gawain and Wayne Dyer, Ph.D. Each shares what it is like to have a personal relationship with God, how this relationship developed and how it manifests in his or her life, relationships and career.")

The article in The Sun:
New book reveals how you can...
STAY YOUNG FOREVER!
By Gina Barlow

LIFE only gets better after 50 -- so why not celebrate it?

That's the inspiration behind 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s: Living It Up in Life's Second Half (New World Library), a new book full of ideas, inspiration and advice for staying fit, focused and full of fun into midlife and beyond.

Writer Sheila Key and University of New Mexico physician Peggy Spencer, M.D., aim at turning the senior years into a celebration.

Here are just a few of their tips:

JUST KEEP BREATHING -- Exhaling with a deep, audible sigh relaxes your whole body -- and the more you practice thinking about your breathing, the less stress you'll experience.

PLEASE MAKE A NOTE OF IT -- Boost your memory by carrying a pen and paper with you everywhere! The more you write down, the better your brain retains memories.

GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY -- Don't avoid mundane work, celebrate it. Whether it's planting a tree or building your own business, let your labor bring your dreams to life.

ACT AGELESS -- Stop thinking about how someone your age should act., and just get active. Think of sports-medicine professor Thomas P. Martin, who celebrated his 50th birthday with several 50-second stretches, followed by 50 jumping jacks, 50 push-ups and 50 sit-ups, then biked 50 miles from the shore of Hawaii to the summit of Mauna Kea -- the highest point in the 50th state!

MAKE THE CALL -- Time heal all wounds. If there's someone who was once close to you but who split away years ago, mend the rift. If you can't write a letter or make a call, then just concentrate on "beaming that sentiment out there," letting the universe know that you forgive and seek forgiveness.

(The photo and caption are meant to tie in with the article. The caption reads, "PLANTING a garden is a great way to use your hands and enjoy the results.)

Correspondence, correspondence, correspondence, ret-set-set!

2008-04-18T13:07:00.000-07:00

Remember that old camp song? What was the "real" word? Sarasponda Sarasponda Sarasponda Ret Set Set --- something like that.

Anyway, I'm babbling. That would be because I spent this whole week printing and folding and stuffing and stamping and, on occasion, REprinting and REstuffing -- oh yes, and driving back over to the office supply store for yet more ink cartridges. If I knew how to spell that big, in-whooshing sound, I'd put that next, because my Canon PIXMA iP1600 SUCKS! And not just in terms of ink. I spent much of this week also getting error messages, pressing "cancel print job," and rebooting the computer. Long (and I do mean long) story short, I have just, minutes ago, "dropped" what must surely rank among history's most expensive 200-piece mailings. May it go forth in all directions and do some real good in this world!

Okay, so... watch your mailbox! Because you may just be among the two hundred! And if not, just wait. I'm now tweaking the thing for online-posting purposes---"the thing" being a fun little birth announcement about 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s---and will post it here just as soon as it's ready. Stay tuned.

TTFN (ta-tah for now),
Sheila

Climbing the Charts at BoomerCafe!

2008-04-08T22:57:00.000-07:00

An excerpt from 50/40 ("Okay, Have a Crisis Already!") is still the Featured Post at BoomerCafe.com and, at last count, had climbed to #2 on the site's "Most Discussed" list, with 15 comments to its credit. What's more, in one of those comments, the BoomerCafe Guys themselves wrote:

We apologize that the Most Popular function of our site has not functioned until today. Had it been earlier, this story would rank among the most popular.

Golly! I know I speak for Peg as well as myself when I say, "Thanks to EVERYBODY who is helping to make 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s a success!"

Join us, won't you?
Go to BoomerCafe.com and leave a comment of your own! (Cool thing: no need to register as one of their members or whatever. Just fill out the comment form, click submit, and that's it!)

Famous Fifty's

2008-04-08T11:04:00.000-07:00

Thought you might enjoy news of how some folks are "taking" this 40's to 50's transition. We'll add links to this post as we hear more stories.

Jamie Lee Curtis

Ellen Degeneres

Carolyn Kennedy

This Book-Launch Party was a "Gift from the Gods"

2008-04-07T04:57:00.000-07:00

...Because I won it! Remember my new business card, with the book cover on it? I blogged about it back in late Feb... Well, the very first one of those cards that I "deployed" went into a fishbowl at ONE UP RESTAURANT & LOUNGE (301 Central SW, 2nd floor, in downtown Albuquerque), on 2/28 ---coincidentally the day amazon.com started shipping the book----and darn if someone from One Up didn't eventually pluck my card out again, thereby winning me a Happy Hour for 15 Fab Folks. Hooray!
Of course, my esteemed coauthor, Dr. Peggy Spencer, was there --- as were at least a couple o' margaritas!

"This one goes out to the one I love!" Looks like I'm pointing at the book, but in fact I'm pointing at Richard Towne, my mate of 28 years. (Notched that mark just last week, we did!) As manager of legendary Albuquerque public radio station KUNM, RT was plenty ready to celebrate, as on the very day of our anniversary, he completed a gruelling 3-year project to sign on FOUR brand-new stations, to carry KUNM's signal strongly into Secorro, Española, Las Vegas (NM), and Taos! Congrats to us both!
Mike & Kathy Lord, our dearest friends in town -- the ones we never hardly see, because they don't actually live in town -- had to shove off early, back toward their lovely A-frame in the Sandias, and a dear & diabetic dog. So great to see them! Kathy's in the book, by the way -- she kicks off "Way 36: (En)Lighten Up, Dude!"

The local TV news showed up, which was mighty impressive, I must admit -- at least until we realized they were only there to collect opinions from the party next to ours, about crime in the downtown area. Ho-hum!

Paul Ingles opened right up to the chapter he helped me with: "Way 23: Shake It Up Baby, Now!"

"Mmm, decisions, decisions!" Peggy and Mary B pore over the menu. Appetizers a'plenty were part of the prize.

And now I see that a whole middle section of photos went missing, while I futzed to get the text in there (almost) properly, up to this point. So let me call this Part One and ask you to scroll on!

"Come Lounge by the Pool (Tables)!"

2008-04-07T04:44:00.000-07:00

That's ONE UP's tag line, though I'm terribly tempted to change it to
"Come (Book) LAUNCH by the Pool (Tables)!"
Hey! There was even a band. Didn't get their name, sorry to say. Tell you what: Let's just call them THE EXTREMELY LOUD BAND. Or, wait! How about "Middle-Aged Deaf"? By today's post-punk standards, that'd work as a band name.
(Say, what do you suppose Richard and the waitress are cooking up?)

Turned out two of my friends -- Maria and Kathi -- already knew each other from before.

"Your shoes are divine!"
(By the way, this is as close as I got to snapping a picture of Kathi's partner, Leann.)

SO COOL that the guests were READING!!! That's Kenna, along with Paul, and Mary B.

The final guests to arrive -- bringing us up to a perfect 15 -- were Molly and her daughters Ciera and Paloma. They enjoyed a game or two of Eight Ball...

HEY! I recognize that pool hall tush!

"The party's oooooh-ver
It's time to goooooo." Thanks, everyone, for helping to make my BIG WISH come true (and Peg's, too!) That's Mary B's friend Paul Suozzi holding the very artifact!!!

Didn't think to snap a picture of HEATH SHEPARD, the manager of One Up, but I'd like to ackn0wledge him, thank him for a swell time, and vouch for his combination restaurant/nightclub/pool hall ---- stop by, if you happen to be driving our little stretch of old Route 66!

Love, Love, Love (a.k.a. Way 47)
Sheila

TCM Review

2008-04-06T20:05:00.000-07:00

"TCM Reviews for Book, Ebook, Audio Book, and Braille Reviews in Every Genre"

50 Ways to Leave Your 40s
Sheila Key and Peggy Spencer, M.D.
New World Library
ISBN: 978-1-57731-545-2
Non-Fiction, Personal Growth
Reviewed by Dr. Tami Brady

It wasn’t so very long ago, when 50 was deemed the beginning of the end. Soon you’d retire and then wait to die. Fortunately, times are changing. Better health care options mean that we are not only living longer but our so called golden years can now be spent doing what we want to do.

50 Ways to Leave Your 40s is essentially about celebrating a new phase of life and making the most of it. Perhaps, this is something we should do at every stage of life. Just take a moment to celebrate and look to the gifts that each age brings. Still, for many, 50 is the start of a whole new way of thinking and being. They’ve spent there entire lives focused on making money, getting ahead, succeeding in their careers, and taking care of family. Suddenly, all of those things seem to take on a different hue. It becomes more important to take care of oneself and have a little fun. Sometimes, it can be a very difficult transition. 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s provides the reader with 50 ways to celebrate, enjoy, and explore this new existence.

Radical Radio!

2008-04-06T16:34:00.000-07:00

Sheila has done a TON of radio interviews all around the country. We'll post links to them here, in case you would like to listen in!

The Morning Drive - AM 800

Conversation with Vicki St. Clair - KKNW Seattle 1150 AM

The Maria Sanchez Show - KVTA

Kajama Website

2008-04-04T12:43:00.000-07:00

Kajama website has three exerpts from the book. Click the links below to read them.

Okay, Have a Crisis Already!

Make the Call

Touch and Glow

Boomer Cafe

2008-04-04T12:37:00.001-07:00

Boomer Cafe website has an exerpt from the book.

Living it Up in Life’s Second Half

Book Review

2008-04-03T21:31:00.000-07:00

From Boomerful: Beauty and Being for the Best Years of Life:

50 Ways to Leave Your 40s

A book review by New Product Editor Mary Kellenberger

----------------

50 Ways to Leave Your 40s

by Sheila Key & Peggy Spencer, MD
Publisher, New World Library

My first thought when picking up this tidy little book was "what a great title!" Maybe this help-make-getting-older-not-quite-so-depressing collection of advice will be better than most of the articles I've read in those check-out counter magazines whose cover titles scream "Help! I'm old and I can't get up ... or get down ... or this is how we can help you get up and get down." I'm not saying they offer bad advice. Mostly, it's good advice, poorly packaged.

So, I was delighted from nearly the first page of "50 Ways to Leave Your 40s"! In fact, this book is just fun-filled great advice! In line with its delightful title that immediately tuned Paul Simon into my brain, Sheila Key and Dr. Peggy Spencer kept the beat going with music/memory-evoking chapter titles such as "Take a Load Off Fanny" and "Break on Through to the Other Side". Great music with the right advice to go along with these wonderful songs in my head. The Band and Jim Morrison probably never saw it coming!

I must admit, though, that I haven't finished the book yet. There are lots of wonderful sidebars in each chapter:

* "Cool Moves" - lots of simple exercise moves to tone, strengthen and even alleviate pain.

* "Things to Try at Least Once" - just what it says and I love what I've seen, so far.

* "Doc in the Box" - good advice on subjects from stinky feet to bad breath - head to toe coverage, so to speak.

* "Scribbles & Doodles" - to get us on the road to the healing and joyful habit of journaling.

This is truly a primer on how to feel good about living longer and better. But, it's also more than that. It's a great, laugh-out-loud (and at yourself) read. I may always keep it near as a refresher on living right and right now.

Chicago Tribune Mention

2008-04-03T21:20:00.000-07:00

Published in last Sunday's Chicago Tribune Q section, under "5 Things We Learned From..."

50 Ways to Leave Your 40s:
Living It Up in Life’s Second Half

By Sheila Key and Peggy Spencer, MD (New
World Library, $14.95 paper)

Five million people turn 50 each year—
more than 12,500 every day—and must
come to grips with that milestone.
Whether it marks the start of the decline
or the beginning of a new life is up to the
birthday boy or girl, say the authors, who challenge readers
to consider aging in new ways.

1
Our metabolisms slow as we age. Use your 50th birthday to
prompt you to increase exercise, which, in addition to
myriad other benefits, boosts metabolism.

2
It is natural to acquire more stuff throughout our lives,
but crucial to know when to empty the closet. Purge! “How
gratifying to move into life’s second half without a ton of
dead weight from the first.”

3
Sometimes it’s better to act your shoe size, not your age.

4
“Musical memory is stored in the brain differently than
other types of data.” So sing. It strengthens the brain in
ways other forms of stimuli cannot.

5
While we can grow rigid with age, it is important to “be
open-minded, openhearted, physically unblocked, and
earnestly open to serving the common good.”

—Chris McNamara

Review on Longevity: About.Com

2008-04-01T13:34:00.000-07:00

The Bottom Line

50 Ways to Leave Your 40s provides a seemingly endless list of ideas and things to do that can make 50 and beyond more exciting. If you are looking for a way to shake things up, this book will have it.

Pros

Tons of ideas, tips and advice
Fun style

Cons

Some ideas are trite or impractical [author's comment: sometimes trite and impractical are FUN!]

Guide Review - Book Review: 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s, by Sheila Key and Peggy Spencer

From rethinking aging to offering advice about eating, 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s provides tons of ideas and tips for making the second 50 years of life better than the first. As you read through each section, you'll notice that some of the advice is familiar, though some of it does bridge new territory (often drawing on New Age approaches).

As each section ("Way") begins, there is often a story or cultural reference presented to ground the section. Examples of "Ways" include: "Just Keep Breathing," "Spurn Your Bra," "Go With the Flow," "Act Ageless," and "Touch and Glow." Each section seeks to inspire the reader to rethink aging and take action.

The book incorporates a good deal of New Age and alternative approaches -- which may be a turn off or a turn on, depending on the reader. The style of the book, too, may be a love-it-or-hate-it characteristic. It is quick and a bit choppy and at times, making it hard to follow, but it is also funny, fast-paced and surprising.

For the reader looking for a quick read and lots of ideas, this book is great. If only a couple of the ideas jump off the page and into the reader's life, this book would be worth it.

link to webpage with this review

5 Things You Can Do to be a Part of the “50/40” Book Launch

2008-03-29T16:42:00.000-07:00

1. Tell everyone about 50 WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR 40s! Stay “in the know” about our tour schedule and media appearances, by getting on the list to receive our “Hot Flash” emails. (To do so, just email Sheila.)

2. Ask for the book at your library and favorite bookstore(s). If they don't have it, ask them to order it. It's available through the following distributors (and chances are very good your library and bookstores use one of these): Publishers Group West, New Leaf, The Ingram Book Company, Partners West, Baker & Taylor, and Dempsey (Canada).

3. Post customer reviews. (YOU get 5 stars for this!) amazon.com and barnes and noble.com are the biggies, of course, but GOOGLE THE TITLE! You'll find that the book is available at lots and lots of obscure little online shops. We're betting they'd appreciate your customer review, too! Heck yeah. Play your cards (er, reviews) right, and you could end up with FIFTY stars!

4. Blog with us at www.50waystoleaveyour40s.blogspot.com. OH! Here you ARE! Well, thanks for coming. Click by often, would you? Post LOTS of comments (or at least one -- please?). Watch for contests and prizes. And send the link to everyone you know, so they can blog with us, too!

5. Come to a book-signing event. And bring your friends! Or, hey! Help us book an event in your area. Email us, if you have any "ins" anywhere.

Thanks & Love from SK & PS

Scenes from a Book Launch

2008-03-28T21:00:00.000-07:00

Garcia Street Books, Santa Fe, NM
March 19, 2008

Garcia Street's announcement board.

(Many thanks to Peg's dad, Dr. Steven Spencer, for taking all but the last of these photographs. The last one's by Sheila -- who's always on the look-out for a metaphor come true!) Enjoy! Wish you could'a been there!

Do we look excited or what?

We were excited, alright -- not least because we found the place only minutes before "show time." Thanks for driving, Peg! The fault was all mine. I just had to make 50 different bookmarks for the occasion!
Peg here: Notice how full this bookstore is. They don't waste a shred of space! Our attendees sat on chairs tucked in between the islands of books you see here and shelf-covered walls. Very cozy!

This is us (Sheila, L, Peggy, center) with Andrea, one of the bookstore workers. So lovely of her to greet us with such a warm smile --- and wine to calm our nerves!
My Dad noted that Andrea and her colleague, Aaron, were smiling throughout the event. And that in spite of us staying an hour past closing time! They were very gracious and generous. And they sold a bunch of our books, too!

While the two of us signed books, audience members enjoyed some of our toys. The woman in the foreground is looking at the "twin scales" she's weighing in on -- to see if she's literally balanced.
To the right is Peggy's sister Sally, trying out our Loofah-on-a-Stick. (You whack yourself with it --- feeeeels sooooooooo gooooooood!) And her son, Peggy's nephew Jaden is there in the middle, putting the Hoberman sphere through its paces. Yes, we had a grand old time, authors and audience alike. Didn't break out my guitar pillow, but.... next time!
We passed out Sheila's beautiful home-made bookmarks, each of which has a Way (chapter) title and brief description, then the audience members enjoyed reading their pick out loud. We also used these nifty souvenirs to help us randomly pick sections of the book to read aloud. The folks were very game, even getting up from their chairs to try out one of our "cool moves," a Key favorite called "Lasagne Loca!"

And finally, here's that "metaphor come true" -- Peg's and my BIG WISH to finish the doggone manuscript... so New World Library could make it into a book... so stores like Garcia Street Books could sell it... and so we could actually go there and "meet our public" (even if they were mostly Peg's family that night!). Thanks to everyone who had a hand in making our BIG WISH come true!

Media Whirl!

2008-03-28T16:54:00.000-07:00

Heavens to Betsy, where have we been these past three weeks, Peg and I? Well, I'll tell you. We've been to Garcia Street Books, in Santa Fe, to launch our book tour. We've been to KCHF TV-11, also in Santa Fe, to tape our first television interview. (Watch for it on YouTube -- seriously! As soon as our publicist gets a hold of the tape, she'll be uploading it.) We've been to Classical KHFM 95.5 FM, right here in Albuquerque, to tape our first radio interview (with the charming Kip Allen). And we've been "live" in Ventura, CA, during afternoon drive-time, no less, on "The Maria Sanchez Show," on KVTU 1520 AM.

Those appearances involved the two of us together. Plus, I (Sheila) have been on the air, mostly live, and mostly on the AM band, on the following stations---since launching our media campaign on St. Pat's Day a couple Mondays back. (Major thanks to Peg Booth and Brittany Cohen, of Booth Media, for lining up this radio campaign -- and to New World Library, and especially our publicist Kim Corbin, for making ALL our media coverage possible!)

KRDO- 105.5 FM- Kansas City, MO (Host: Charlie Thomas)

WCMY 1430 AM, Ottawa, IL (Host: Karen Rhodes)

KSFR- 90.7 FM - Santa Fe, NM (Host: Diego Mulligan)

CKLW- AM 800- Bingham Farms, MI (Host: Mike & Lisa)

KLYC- AM 1260 - McMinnville, OR (Host: Eve Fuller)

WMMM- 105.5 FM Madison, WI (Host: Kitty Dunn)

KLPW- AM 1220 - Washington, MO. (Host: Diane Jones)

KJAN- AM 1220 - Atlantic, Iowa. (Host: LaVon Eblen)

WGAU AM 1340- Athens, GA (Host: Liz Dalton)

KBUR- AM 1490- Burlington, IA (Host: Steve Hexom)

WBZ - AM 1030- Boston, MA (Host: Laurie Kirby; Interviewer: Carolyn Firestone)

.... And there are a whole bunch more coming up.
NOT LEAST! This weekend... Peg and I will be heard live in as many as 38 states, all in one fell swoop of an hour, on "The Brad Walton Show," out of WCCO in Minneapolis, a.k.a. CBS Radio/ Twin Cities. We'll be talking to the Night Owls ( "Call me Bird of a Feather!"*), as we're scheduled from 1:00 to 2:00 in the A.M. -- and this time I don't mean the AM radio dial (though that is where to find WCCO -- at 830 FM, to be exact). Hope you can tune in. Or catch it streaming online at WCCO.

(* The "Bird of a Feather" line is from our Way #22: Seize the Night.)

Don't count yourself among the Night Owls? Okay. KCHF, that Santa Fe station where we taped our first on-camera interview, is making it a lot easier for people to "catch us" on the air. Our half-hour appearance on "Issues and Answers," with host Diane Kinderwater, will air on Channel 11, in Santa Fe (and on cable systems around New Mexico) five times, as follows:

Weds., Mar. 26, 4:30 p.m.
Thurs., Mar. 27, at 10:30 p.m.
Fri., Mar. 28, at 10 a.m. and again at 10:30 p.m.
Sat., Mar. 29, at 10 p.m.

Plus, as I mentioned, the "Issues and Answers" interview is coming soon to a YouTube near you!

Okay, that's the media round-up to date. Wait, make that the broadcast media round-up. We've got a few websites and (dare I say "old-fashioned") print rags to our credit by now. (Yes, I can say old-fashioned, by the way. Do it all the time. More and more often, it seems. Is that another midlife-ism?)

Stay tuned, will you? Peg has photos from our first booksigning event.

Love Love Love,
Sheila

March 4th, revisited

2008-03-05T07:27:00.000-08:00

True story about March 4th a year ago. SO GREEN was our Christmas tree the holiday before last --- a beautiful ceiling scraper of 14 feet --- that when we carried it out of here (that is, as we marched forth with it, a year ago yesterday), the thing was actually sprouting new growth! Peg can vouch for this. She came over to work on the book that day, and I called her out to the compost pile to show her: our retired tree, stripped of its holiday bling, yet SELF-adorned with bright shoots of Spring Green, here, there and everywhere! A passionate part of me wanted to stand it right back up in water, but... well, it was March, for heaven's sake, and we'd already had more than one neighbor remark, upon seeing the gentle giant in our great room, still proud as a peacock past Valentine's Day, "Hey, I'd be happy to help you get that out of here!" So we decided to march forth on March 4th, out the back door, bearing the beauty to its final resting place, where it lay sprouting as it died.

Sigh.

Well, this year the winter holidays are long past, and I marked (er, marched?) the day in a manner much more in synch with the season: I shopped not one but two gardening stores. Mostly, I wanted a blooming bush of some sort, to celebrate the publication of 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s. Chose an orange rose named Rio Samba! Oooooohhh, I love orange. And I love roses! So there you go. Some onion sets hopped into my basket on the way to pay. Oh, and a small pot of shamrocks, to remind me of my papa. (Not only did he have Irish blood, but he was also a March baby who ended up dying in March. And he had an unusual take on the Ides of March. Stay tuned -- I'll tell that story on March 15th. Or perhaps the 16th!)

The second gardening store yielded strawberry plants and a hanging planter for them (so the pill bugs don't get 'em this year), two big packets of wildflower seeds, and --- oh, get this! This is a first for me --- pansies. Yes, this longtime herb-and-veggie grower is taking her first foray into flowers. I have transplanted blooming things into pots before, yes, but it was always for something or someone else. But this year, by gum, our property will be prettier with pots of pansies!

I p-p-peaked at the potatoes I have hidden in the dark pantry. Sure enough, they're sprouting eyes! Still no p-p-pea sprouts, though. I planted a couple different varieties straight into the garden two weeks ago -- was told the only secret to succeeding with peas around here is to plant them by President's Day -- and now I'm checking for sprouts everyday, even through the morning frost. It's been three years since I've gardened. Guess you could say I'm a little eager.

So! How does YOUR garden grow? Even if it's only the metaphorical kind, do tell!

Love, Love, Love,
Sheila

March FORTH!

2008-03-04T07:40:00.000-08:00

Left. Left. Left-right-left.
The misspelling in the title is deliberate. After Feb. 29th, I'd have to say March 4th is my next-favorite date -- for its built-in, homonym-like call to action: "Get going," this date seems to say, "March forth!" So I had better, right?

Here are the headlines in the world of 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s:

THE BOOK IS HITTING THE STREETS. Even those who declined amazon's offer of overnight shipping are by now receiving their orders. Amazon sold out -- there's news! -- and were expected to have the book back in stock today. (March forth!) Oh, and the book has RECEIVED ITS FIRST CUSTOMER REVIEW!!! From Colleen Anderson, the sparkling soul who delivered the Answer of the Gods (in the form of the book's title) not one hour after I scribbled the Big Question: "I must write a book! What shall it be about?"

Yes, Colleen Anderson, whose own creative gifts are so numerous as to defy comprehensive description, did bestow FIVE FULL STARS on "50/40." Wanna read all about it? Click here then scroll down a ways. Thank you, Colleen! And give my love to Michael (Davis, her sweetie, and the guy who channeled The Answer in the first place.) Blessings on you both. Congratulations: You're GodParents!!!

BURIED LEAD (there's always at least one in my blog posts): The Chicago Tribune this past Sunday ran our book's FIRST MEDIA REVIEW. We haven't seen it --- HAVE YOU SEEN IT??? Peggy drove all over town looking for it on Sunday, but Albuquerque came up empty. Kim Corbin, our publicist at New World Library, has a call in to her contact at the Trib. And I, meanwhile, put out the call to a select subset of my email address book, whereupon Marty Ronish forwarded the request to her Chicago buds. Fingers crossed that someone will produce the clip --- and that what it has to say about the book is, you know, good!

Finally, what about those DAFFODILS in the photo up there? Well, I am kicking myself for not fetching my camera earlier and oftener, but this is how last Friday's (LEAP Day's) fistful of buds looks today. Actually, there were two fistfuls of buds, one of which I delivered to the doorstep of my beloved coauthor, Peggy Spencer M.D. Because I didn't know for sure she'd be home, I opted for buds rather than blossoms, lest they wilt and die before she discovered them. Of course, as soon as I did select buds about to bloom, I saw in them the perfect metaphor for our book going out into the world. "Let the blooming begin!" I wrote on her card --- and then on another one, for my family, more of my beloveds.

SURPRISE! They turned out to be daffodils. On a guess, I'd said tulips. But no. Sunshiny daffodils. So much did I regret the missed opportunity --- woulda, coulda, shoulda had a fabulous time-lapse film of "Bud to Blossom in Two Days Flat" -- that I went back over to the shop where I bought them, hoping to score another fistful. Again no. Sold out. (Another metaphor for the book, perhaps?)

OK, gotta go. Got a zillion things to do to be ready to be an author. Too late, I know, but I still "gotta." Keep in touch! PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT -- this blog could use a lot more comments! Take a moment, would'ja? Pop in and say hey.

EVEN BETTER: Join Colleen and leave a CUSTOMER REVIEW about 50/40 at amazon.com. There's also a place to enter useful KEYWORDS to help 50/40 come up when amazon's customers are looking for a particular kind of book. THE MORE THE MERRIER!

Whatever's on your agenda for today, do be sure to March FORTH! Ready to put your best foot forward? Left. Left. Left-right-left...

Love, Love, Love (a.k.a. Way #47)
Sheila

Leap Day is Ending... but May Your Leaping Go On & On!

2008-02-29T22:18:00.000-08:00

Oh my heavens. What a day! I still have one important leap I've gotta fit into this dwindling evening. Besides being the day 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s leaped into the hands of the book-buying public (at least, those who paid for overnight shipping on amazon!) --- today was also the ridiculously optimistic "grand opening" date of my (Sheila's) other midlife baby: StudioFiftyForty.com.

As IF! Progress at my e-commerce website --- "the online gift shop for cool people of a certain age" --- is coming along u-l-t-r-a---s-l-o-w-l-y. But, as today's date adorns "The Studio's" welcome screen, I must LEAP over to there and post at least a little update.

I added a page for "WHO" the other day...

Wait, let me explain. Quickly! In setting up that original homepage for StudioFiftyForty --- a spotlit dancefloor, empty --- this fab idea occurred to me. Rather than title the pages like every other website out there (About Us, Contact Us, etc.), I decided to use the journalist's cribsheet: When reporting the news, a journalist is supposed to tell the "Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How" of the story. So... the other day I posted a first draft of the "WHO" page. Wanna see it?

OK, so now, being that it's the last minutes of this relatively rare date -- Feb. 29 -- let me leap off like one o' those proverbial Lords a'Leaping, and post something new about "WHEN."

Love, Laugh, LEAP!
Sheila

LEAP BLOG!

2008-02-29T08:43:00.000-08:00

Happy Leap Day! Are you leaping yet? I am. Leaping between appointments -- all of them with "The New Me." Actually, I've been inching up to this New Me for ages (that's the only way to make changes stick, wouldn't you agree?). But I always look to special days like Leap Day for declaring a spirited new Beginning!

I'll play more LEAP BLOG with you when next I land here at the computer. But right now, I'm OFF again!

Love, Love, Love
One Lady a'Leapin'
Sheila

CONFIRMED: Amazon Is Shipping Orders!

2008-02-28T17:20:00.000-08:00

THIS JUST IN.... from my friend Kevin, up in beautiful Roseville, Minnesota, USA:

Sheila,

Your book has been shipped from Amazon and I will receive it tomorrow.

This is so exciting. Congratulations - it was hard work but well worth it.

Can't wait to read it.

Love,

--Kevin--

Oh my God! PEGGY! Our book has been shipped! And it's arriving on LEAP DAY!

All day today I've been preparing for tomorrow's spirited LEAP. Make that "tomorrow's spirited LEAPS," as I have a short list of them cuing up for manana. Anyway, Kevin is in the book -- in Way #45: Respect Your Youngers -- along with his sweet daughter, Kaitlyn, and I sure do thank him, for letting us know that the blessed event is upon us: 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s is being born!

Hot diggity!
and, as always, Love, Love, LOVE!
Sheila

Check out StudioFiftyForty!

2008-02-19T08:30:00.000-08:00

Hey, just a quickie to invite you to take a peek at my new baby. No, for once, it's not the book. This baby is still a bun in the oven. It's a companion to the 50 Ways website (indeed, it's temporarily "parked" at the 50 Ways website) and just the kind of thing you might expect from an old rock-and-roll DJ like me. Sorry the links aren't operational yet -- the bun is but half-baked! But have a look, anyway, would'ja? And stay tuned for your invitation to the Grand Opening of StudioFiftyForty.com.

Million-watt thanks to my friend Diane Arnold, who's finding time in her gruelling* schedule to teach me web design. (*She's training to do her first triathlon this year. Go, Di, go! What's more, this week she's "single-parenting it." Rest, Di, rest!)

Speaking of going, I gotta. I may not be running, biking, and swimming scores of miles weekly (nor single-parenting, thank God!), but as a web designer-in-training and a budding e-commerce retailer, I've gotta go pound pavement and push pedals in my own way. Gonna make a splash, don't-cha know!

Love all around,
Sheila

"Take a Leap" Day: T-minus two weeks and counting

2008-02-15T15:30:00.000-08:00

Just a reminder -- that rarest of all dates, the 29th of February, is making its quadrennial appearance just two weeks from now. Got plans? If not, go on and think some up quick, because, according to my trusty little Pocket Astrologer, Feb. 29, 2008, is going to be a right dandy day for taking a Spirited Leap.

For one thing, the Moon will be in Sagittarius, and that (says the P.A.) "can give an idealistic feeling, restlessness, desire for adventure and sports, a love of change and motion, and the itch to travel."

Gosh, sounds like "Take a Spirited Leap," to me. But wait, there's more!

"People will be warm and friendly since Sagittarius is ruled by expansive Jupiter, but they will also have a strong need for independence and feel unable to endure restrictions." [Must...LEAP!] "People will likely feel spontaneous," [Now!] "intuitive (prophetic)," [The net will appear; I just know it!] "and animated with enthusiasm. Here the Moon stimulates our aspirations for self-improvement," [Watch me FLY!] "and brings a philosophical influence."

My wee little reference book goes on in this positive vein, and that's just in the "Moon in Sagittarius" part. Oh, but Feb. 29 is loaded with planetary "aspects," too, all of which seem plenty conducive to spirited leaping, even if I don't quite understand every aspect of "aspects." To wit:

On Leap Day, 2008, at:

2:03 a.m. (MST): Moon sextile Mercury -- "Communication and conversation are easy with this positive connection of mind and emotions. Practical mental abilities and good common sense are highlighted. It is a good time to conduct business," [at 2 in the morning, riiight], utilize communications media or to use writing as a means of expression." Perhaps we should all plan to be up blogging and emailing that night!
4:48 a.m., Moon sextile Venus -- "Sensitivity and affections are strong as subconscious sensuality seeks emotional satisfaction. This is a good time for romance or any social gathering. Personalities mellow. Dispositions are pleasant. Have a party!"
12:00 Noon -- Moon square Uranus -- "Expect disruptions or obsessions with the unusual and unconventional." [Break with tradition! Take a spirited LEAP!]
8:31 p.m. Moon sextile Neptune -- "Sensitivity opens the unconsciousness. Imagination is strong and inspirational."

See? A perfectly wonderful day to Leap. That's Feb. 29th, two weeks from today. Personally, I didn't need any more convincing. It's enough for me that there is but a single Leap Day in four long years. Rather like Presidential elections and the Summer Olympics, only way more fleeting -- and fun, I think, for the Average Joe & Jill. So don't miss it, okay? Get ready to LEAP!

My Gift of Love to the World

2008-02-14T22:26:00.000-08:00

Coming soon to an internet connection near you, it's StudioFiftyForty.com, a gift shop for cool people of a certain age!!!

Tonight I finally registered the domain name, and while I was at it, I also registered such variations on the spelling as Studio50forty.com, StudioFifty40.com, and Studio5040.com. Those'll all forward to the main domain. Was disappointed to find that two variations --- Studio_50_40.com and Studio50_40.com --- were already taken, but you know what? When you type either of those URLs into a browser, nothing comes up. In other words, someone registered those domains but hasn't actually created a website yet. So I went ahead with my registration of, and webhosting agreement for, StudioFiftyForty.com.

Next, I loaded up my DreamWeaver software and read through the QuickStart. I'll be hard-pressed to do my real work tomorrow, I can tell already! (I'm supposed to be applying to be on Oprah's show --- fairly important stuff for a new author --- but I can't seem to give it my full attention. Not when there are expansive New Vistas to explore!)

My html-savvy friend Diane is gonna school me on DreamWeaver this Saturday. Not only are we going to update the official 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s website, but, by gum, I'm gonna get something up on my brand-new, 10GB piece of cyber real estate, at www.StudioFiftyForty.com. Hold me to it, would'ja? Click on over there on Sunday or so, and see if I've kept my promise to the world, or what!

Hope you had a LOVERLY Valentine's Day. Mine was positively heart-warming -- thanks for asking!

Love x3,
Sheila

Cupcakes & Cupid's Arrows

2008-02-13T21:12:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Eve is always such a tizzy. I'm just finished with baking 36 cupcakes (my daughter decorated 'em, thank god) and cutting out dozens of red paper hearts and spearing each with a freshly sharpened Valentine's pencil, like Cupid's arrow, after my son wrote them out to everyone, in silver ink. Now all these pretty little things lie packaged and waiting at the door, for the school day tomorrow, when there'll be affection in the air and a mite too many confections in the teeth and bloodstream of the student body. Ah well.

Anyway, speaking of affection, I just wanted to share the email I got from my friend Lindy today. She handles marketing at KHFM, the commercial classical-music station here in Albuquerque, and has been such a fabulous cheerleader for me and this project, I can't begin to thank her enough. Now that Lindy is lining me and Peg up for an interview on KHFM, naturally our publicist sent her a copy of 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s. So today comes this email from Lindy:

Subject: "I Got It! I Got t!"

Hi! I am so excited!! I just got the book… I was holding it in my hands until I had this uncontrollable urge to write to you to let you know…. I GOT IT!!!

I have been waving it all over the office, making people queue up for “the reading” of it! I’m first; then Bob, then Kip. I AM SO AWFULLY PROUD OF YOU!!!!! I know I have no right to be “kvelling” (…a wonderful Yiddish word that means beaming from someone else’s good fortune), but I am!

Thank you for having Kim send it to me. I have also pre-ordered two copies and plan on giving it to all of my friends and my children and their friends!!! (Do you have a bulk rate?)

When can we have lunch so you can actually SEE me beaming?

Love,
Lindy

Oh, kvell away, my dear! Kvelling is something the world can always use more of. As to bulk rates, hmmm, I'll have to check that out. Thanks for writing, Lindy, and here's some love right back at'cha! You made my day.

Sheila

P.S. Oh, and yes, let's be ladies who lunch, for sure. I'll email you...

New Biz... New Biz Card!

2008-02-12T20:41:00.000-08:00

Ta-daaah!

So, whad'ya think? I designed it yesterday, printed it up today, and handed a bunch of them out at a New Mexico Business Women's soiree this evening. It seemed to do the trick.

Of course, this is but one of 50 variations of my new business card, as each flipside reveals just one chapter title, one of the fifty "Ways."

Naturally, I chose the number that answers an earlier question on this blog (see Feb. 10, 2008). The cool coincidence is that "launching my legacy" is exactly what I'm doing right now, with this card and with the book -- and with this blog, for that matter. Don't'cha just love it when cool coincidences reaffirm how unbelievably swell life can be? I do.

Onward and UPward!
Sheila

Amazon ranking 9,376

2008-02-11T15:32:00.000-08:00

Peg writes: "Now I'M clicking Amazon every 5 minutes! Well, not quite, but enough to notice that we're still climbing! Hey, maybe we'll even make it into the 3 digit group someday!"

Oh, Peggy, we're not stopping at 3 digits. Heck no. Straight to the top, beh-beh! On past the double dijjers to the singles.... UNTIL??? (Recall that the following is sung to the tune of Sheryl Crow's "All I Wanna Do Is Have Some Fun")... "UNTIL OUR NAME'S ON TOP OF THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLERS LIST!"

We broke into the Top 100,000 on Amazon!

2008-02-11T15:21:00.000-08:00

This actually happened the last week in January, while I was still in the throes of my family's New Year's mailing to Everyone We Know. After sending out 100 or so of my "It's a BOOK!" emails, I left a browser window open to our book on amazon.com --- left it open all day. Well, that night, before closing the browser, the thought struck me, to refresh the page, and when I did,

I SAW THE SALES RANKING OF 50 WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR 40s GO FROM AROUND 330,000 TO SOME 94,000! It was a sweet moment, to say the least.

OK, so today now, Peg trumped the heck out of that story by emailing me and our publicist with this: No, for heaven's sake, this warrants a post of its own.

Read on!

Sheila

Happy My-Birthday to You!

2008-02-10T14:46:00.000-08:00

So, how many does this make? Here's a hint: With the New Moon three days ago, the lunar calendar ushered in the Year of the Rat, and that just happens to be the sort of year I was born in. Got it? OK, so who are my fellow Rats out there?

Here I am with one of my birthday gifts: Hoberman's sphere --- a glow-in-the-dark model, no less! I mention this cool expanding toy in 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s, in Way #8: Play Ball! So it made sense for me to own one, don't you think? At least, that's why I shopped eBay and "gifted" myself. This thing'll be a hoot during my bookstore appearances, I can tell already.

Oh! Have I buried the lead? I do that all the time.

Peg and I have the beginnings of a book tour booked, with gigs in New Mexico and Arizona, as follows:

Wednesday, March 19, at Garcia Street Books, in Santa Fe
Thursday, May 1, at the Duck & Decanter, in Phoenix
Friday, May 2, at Antigone Books, in Tucson.

Meanwhile, a bookstore owner right here in Albuquerque has declined to book us, isn't that nuts? I won't mention his store, because hey! By his own choice he doesn't make the list! But do stay tuned to this blog, as we expect more bookings --- gosh, maybe even one here in town!

But back to birthdays. Don't you just love 'em? I do. And I've always been especially happy that mine comes so soon after New Year's. As a kid, of course, it was a pretty good bet I'd finally get the gift I whined about not getting for Christmas. Nowadays, it's more about having a second crack at the whole Resolutions thing. Hope springs eternal that one day I will truly start living a healthier lifestyle, and indeed, now that our book is coming out, and it talks all kinds about healthier lifestyles, you might say I'm feeling a hard-pressed to Bring It On! To Switch Into Glide with smooth, solid, daily habits of eating right and exercising with a passion.

So today, in my journal, I'm detailing two side-by-side lists, for the sake of self-motivation, titled "The Now Me" & "The New Me." Okay, dig it, because this isn't just about me. "Happy 'My Birthday' to You!" YOU can have another crack at your Resolutions, too! I mean, why NOT? As Thich Nhat Hanh says, each day brings us 24 brand new hours, and thus a fresh start.

But, I know... some days really do have more of a "fresh start" kind of feel than others. New Year's is naturally a biggie, and birthdays can be just as big. Some folks start fresh with the first day of a new month, or on the day of any month's New Moon. Others refresh their efforts weekly, routinely starting again on Monday. Whatever works! Habit-change takes persistence.

Well, here comes a Fresh Start day I'd call four times more auspicious than New Year's: LEAP DAY, Feb. 29, 2008. I've decided to call it "Take a Leap" Day, and I'll be blogging more about it. Indeed, I'll be sharing my plans for a big leap of my own, one that I hope will bring a bit of joy to legions of people. Stay tuned!

The Eagle Has Landed!

2008-02-06T10:20:00.000-08:00

Heard a knock at the door just a few minutes ago, and darn if it wasn't the Fed-Ex guy, delivering a copy of 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s to my doorstep! Across town, presumably, Peg is receiving a copy, too. Golly! We are published authors!

The book looks great, with "spot varnish" to give the cover image lots of shine. Amazon.com has been taking preorders since before Christmas --- at a third off the cover price, no less! Officially, the book's "pub date" -- which, despite the sound of it, is not a get-together for a drink -- is March 15. So beware the Ides of March, would'ja? If you don't find our book in your local bookstore by then, Peg and I would appreciate it very much if you would get all over their asses about ordering it --- in large quantity, por favor.

Cheerio!
Sheila

Endorsements for 50/40

2007-12-17T08:59:00.000-08:00

Dear Fans,

The book is going to the printer this Friday! We are very excited. Meanwhile, our wonderful publisher has collected some awesome endorsements for us. Check them out:

"Good, juicy, inspiring words and ways to live as a gloriously aging soul."
--- SARK author and artist of Fabulous Friendship Festival

What a treasure trove! 50 Ways To Leave Your Forties is a joyful, irreverent (and at the same time, very reverent) enthusiastic, and incredibly informative book. The authors present their suggestions for zestful and meaningful living in wonderfully inviting ways. I loved it!

--Sue Patton Thoele, author of Freedoms After 50, The Courage To Be Yourself, and The Mindful Woman

"So far, the statistics are convincing: everyone ages. How we age, however, is largely a choice. In 50 WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR 40s, Sheila Key and Dr. Peggy Spencer serve up a delectable recipe for healthy aging that is both delicious and joyful."

--Larry Dossey, MD, author of The Extraordinary Healing Power of Ordinary Things

Dipping into this treasure trove of a book makes me want to go back in time so I can leave my 40s again. 50 WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR 40s offers so many creative ideas, so much thoughtful information and is so darn much fun, I’m sure I’d do it more gracefully, heathfully, and happily the second time. Congratulations and thanks to Sheila Key and Peggy Spencer for giving all of us a life-affirming map to follow no matter what our age.

-- Judy Reeves, author of A Writer’s Book of Days

"Sheila Key and Peggy Spencer know that a new decade of life is the beginning, not the end, of something great. With generous helpings of wisdom and wit, 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s is a recipe for joy during what comes next." -David Niven, PhD, author of The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People and The 100 Simple Secrets of the Best Half of Life Not only that, but you can already buy the book on Amazon! See HERE.

The End Is In Sight!

2007-07-08T21:33:00.000-07:00

For those faithful fans who do check on us from time to time, you will be pleased to know that this book is almost finished!

Our deadline to have our manuscript to the publisher is August 1, 2007 and we are going to make it! We're very excited. The book, if we may say so, is looking great. The editor thinks so too.

Of course, after the due date there are all kinds of other steps before publication, which puts the publication date in Spring of 2008. Naturally, we will keep you informed!

Guess who stopped by yesterday!

2007-04-04T10:12:00.000-07:00

It's Michael Davis and Colleen Anderson, my friends from West Virginia! They stopped through on their way to Taos, by way of Jemez. Colleen and Michael love New Mexico (luckily for us) and visit often, albeit fleetingly.

These are the good people who came up with the title "50 Ways to Leave Your 40s" (Michael's brainchild) and delivered it to my kitchen table on Oct. 13, 2000. Less than an hour earlier that evening, I'd scrawled "I must write a book!" on a stray piece of paper, then, a moment later, "What shall it be about?" Whereupon Colleen arrived for the first of her now customary autumn stays at the Ghost Ranch. It's a writers' gathering; I'll have to get the URL and put it in here...Fall Writing Festival.

Anyway, there was Colleen at my door, all those 6½ years ago, and within a matter of minutes, she was regaling me with the story of a road trip a few months earlier, notably a gift she gave herself on the occasion of a certain "Big Oh" birthday.

...Which is how the book title came up in conversation. I myself was 40 at the time, and we thought for a minute we might write the book together. But in the end, Colleen and Michael --- these two lovelies flanking me in this photograph --- decided, "YOU should write it, Sheila!" And so, at long last, I am.

Speaking of... I'd better get back to it. I'm at exactly the two-thirds point in the manuscript, working on Way #33 today: "Break On Through to the Other Side." Gotta get my MOjo RIsing! Meanwhile, I have handed The Tome (i.e. the 3-ring binder containing the first 32 chapters) over to Colleen and Michael for their critical -- and I do mean critical -- reading. Stay tuned!

Wait! Before I go, I promised C & M that I'd add their links here on my blog. Give me a minute...Here we go: Colleen's and Michael's.

OK, that's better

2007-03-16T22:53:00.000-07:00

Wha' Happened?

2007-03-15T10:36:00.000-07:00

Expert Excerpts, Expert Excerpts, Expert Excerpts

2006-09-07T08:06:00.000-07:00

To recap: Last Friday, our editor at New World Library set us straight that, in order to be the precious little gift book we all intend, 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s requires a total word count of 50,000, not the 100,000 cited in our contract. Oops! Wish that boilerplate detail hadn't slipped through a crack. Meanwhile, here Peg and I were, trying for months to figure out how to make all our fabulous material fit into a mere 2,000 words per chapter.

Now that push comes to shove and our new target is smaller by half, clearly we need to narrow our focus. We had done a lot of writing, of course, but thankfully not the bulk of it. The major loss comes in terms of time spent doing tons of research for the many "nuggets" that lie now on the cutting-room floor.

(heavy sigh...) Life happens. What'cha gonna do?

Onward! Upward!

We do still want your stories! But obviously, the name of the game will be "Expert Excerpts." (Say that fast three times!) We'll zero in on the strongest material, the most compelling experiences, the liveliest quotes. Don't just tell us what happened with you in the "leaving your 40s" passage. Tell us how the experience changed you. And pass on your best advice for others facing similar situations. Our book aims to be upbeat and humorous, even as it conveys some of life's heavier lessons, so don't be afraid to crack wise!

DEADLINE: September 30, 2006. Email sheilakey@newmexico.com. Include your real name, your real age, and the first name (real or not) you'd like us to use for publication.

Thanks.

But first, a few photos!

2006-09-06T13:48:00.000-07:00

Can you believe Peg and I showed up at our second book-writing retreat wearing the same dress?! We didn't even know we owned the same dress. Bonus: Since my kids really, really wanted to see the room and jump on the beds (Retreat Central was just three miles from home) -- and since I was happy for their help, along with Dad's, to shlepp the last of my gear up to the room -- Peg and I had a willing photographer on hand for a moment, to document the coincidence. (Thank you, Maya Sweetie!)

And when I say we shlepped in the stuff, I mean
We shlepped in the stuff!

Call us urban campers. I snapped this photo at the end, as we awaited Sean the Bellman to help pack us out. A photo of the incoming load (if it existed) would show lots more groceries. We ate well! Though the room lacked cooking facilities, the elevator stood ready to whisk us down to the doorstep of McGrath's, Hyatt's downtown-Albuquerque restaurant, where the kitchen staff stood just as ready to please, if only to bake Peg's gourmet pizza in their oven or pop my bag of corn in their microwave. We never did actually dine at McGrath's, but we recommend it to any restaurant-goer in the neighborhood, purely on principle.

Lugging in the cappucino maker and accoutrement definitely paid off. Saved us considerable dollars and minutes (OK, half-hours) not spent running down to Starbuck's in the lobby.
Nope, we ate in, drank in... Just hunkered in the bunker and wrote.

Peg brought along her brand-spanking new copy of the Chicago Manual of Style, 15th Edition, our publisher's stylebook of choice.
Oh, and she struck on a possible solution to midlife changes in visual accuity, to say nothing of cutting-edge fashion.

The weather was kind enough to be cloudy all weekend while we hunkered indoors. Not just dull gray, though. We enjoyed our 9th-floor view of blanket after blanket of clouds spilling over the Sandia Mountains. Photos through the window never do justice to such beautiful scenery.

...And we even made it to the hot tub! Only once, but still. While we were there, we "collected" a little story for the book, from a couple passing through on their way from San Francisco (their home of 30 years) to their new home in Amarillo, Texas, a town they had yet to set foot in. Now that's a midlife adventure!

WHICH reminds me: I owe you an update about our story needs for the book, now that our template is much condensed. It's coming. Stay tuned.

"Did we say 100,000 words?"

2006-09-06T11:18:00.000-07:00

Peg and I are just back from retreat. We holed up at the Hyatt Regency in downtown Albuquerque, our hometown. Didn't set foot out of the place from check-in on Thursday to check-out on Tuesday. In-room cappucino maker (lugged from home) prevented us from frequenting Starbuck's downstairs. Well, almost. We gave in to the scone urge one morning. But hey, "once" is not "frequenting," so I guess I was right the first time.

Oh, but look: I've buried the lead.

Our retreat began with a long-awaited confab with our editor, and boy-oh-boy, are we wishing we hadn't waited so long. The upshot is this: Although our contract with New World Library calls for a first-draft manuscript of "approximately 100,000 words," what NWL really meant to ask of us (had they caught the boo-boo) was "approximately 50,000 words." The 100K figure is boilerplate for the typical 9" x 6", 300-page book. But ours is not the typical 9 x 6 same-old, same-old.

50/40 is a gift book. It'll have a gifty shape (we spoke of 6" square) and a "precious" look and feel. As such, it cannot accommodate 100,000 words. Good lord! We had hoped to find out we had some "wiggle room" above the 100K. We came away with a firm "half that." Yikes!

But we've gotta laugh. How many thousand words do they want, after all, for this book about "leaving your 40s"? Why, FIFTY, of course!

In fairness, our editor gave us the choice of going the "standard 9 X 6" route. But we agreed with her that 50/40 is, first and foremost, a gift book. So, with her help, we pared the template to the bone and got to work.

Where does this leave us, vis-a-vis stories from contributors? Good question! And it deserves its own stand-alone blog post.

Soon!
Love, Sheila

"What kind of stories are you looking for?"

2006-07-24T12:14:00.000-07:00

Peg and I hear this a lot, especially since we started emailing our "Call for Stories" to everyone we know. Here are a couple other responses we're hearing:

"I'm not really much of a writer" and "Oh, you don't wanna hear about my boring life!"

...to which I respectfully respond (citing #16 of our 50 Ways in the bargain), "Fuhgeddaboudit!"

Now I don't mean "forget about it" as in, "Oh, ok, never mind, forget I asked." No. I mean (if I may don my best Joe Pesci-inspired New Yahk accent, complete with all due, in-your-face hand gestures), "FUHGEDDABOUDIT!!! Whose life you calling boring? And you don' even HAFTA be a writer. That's what me and Peg are here for!"

"Me and Peg" -- you like that? See what a good writer I am? (Actually, that was still part of my Joe Pesci impersonation.)

Seriously, though, we are seeking insights into the Universal Midlife Experience in all its mundane, joyful, painful, funny, unexpected, gratifying, [insert your own list of adjectives here] manifestations.

...Like the one-liner from Reina, who was never particularly bothered by any gray hair on her head. "But you know you're getting up there in years when your eyebrows start turning gray!"

...And the bit from Peg's colleague Barbara, who showed up at work one day (speaking of eyebrows) with some sort of tweezing injury related to her attempts to (her word) "De-Frump" in time for her 30th high-school class reunion!

...And then there's Tuko's revelation that playing beach volleyball with people half her age is a lot more fun now that she limits herself to one game a day, or a game-and-a-haf MAX. "I was finding, after four games, I'd wake up unable to walk!" Tell it, sis-tah!

Want more ideas -- ones we have NOT yet received? Scroll down to the "Cliffs Notes" post, below, for no fewer than FIFTY possibilities. Even if none of them quite fits you, perhaps they'll serve to nudge out the midlife story of yours that's just been waiting to be told.

Then... just schlopp your anecdote (one-liner, joke, insight, lesson learned, favorite midlife book or movie, whatever!) into an email -- in your own words, nothing fancy (unless fancy happens to be your style, in which case, fancy's cool). Just tap, tap, tap it into an email to sheilakey@newmexico.com and click Send. We'll take it from there, weaving your story into our "50/40" manuscript wherever it fits best.

By the way, you are more than welcome to leave your input for the book as a comment here at the blog, but we would also like to know your real name, your real age, and whatever first name you'd like us to use in publication. If you'd rather send that information to me privately, do so by email, even as you leave your public comment(s) here.

SPECIAL NOTE TO OUR FELLOW BLOGGERS: By all means, scroll through your OWN BLOG's posts and archives, for any middle-of-life story you think we'd enjoy. If it's already written... all the better, right? (Thanks, Di, for this winning idea. You ROCK!)

Thanks a ton, y'all! Peg and I can't wait to hear from you.

Love, Sheila

Clarifications

2006-07-20T13:22:00.000-07:00

Hi again. Sheila here. Peg and I are delighted to report that three wonderful women have already answered our Call for Stories. Thanks to Kim (www.scaredtohealth.com ), Ann (www.bygosch.com ) and Sue (PEG -- does Sue the Marathoner have a blog or website?) -- we are off to a great start in our effort to attract some "lived experience" into our book -- I mean, of course, beyond that which we can draw from our own lives, Peg's and mine.

One email we received this morning, however, has given us to know that we need to clarify a few things about our Call for Stories.

1. "This is not a paying gig." Sad but true. We wish it could be different, but there it is. The emailer who told us we should be ashamed of ourselves for not paying writers did so beneath the subject line "anthology," which brings me to my second point of clarification:

2. 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s is NOT an anthology! Peg and I are researching and writing all of the essays, sidebars, pop quizzes and journaling prompts that will make up the bulk of the manuscript. She and I are also gathering the many published quotations (as well as the required permissions for use) to serve as marginalia. Although our "Call" is for "Stories" -- the kind with a beginning, a middle, and an end -- I now come to the most important point of clarification:

3. "We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity -- or simply to excerpt as needed." We've been asked the "word count" question, which is certainly reasonable ... and yet, not easily answered as such. In a way, word count is irrelevant, as it is highly unlikely that accepted stories will appear in their entirety. (My two sure exceptions to this are reserved for my brother Sean, who just underwent a liver transplant, and my sister Theresa, who served as his living donor.) The far more likely scenario is that we will excerpt stories, condensing the illustrative points into a paragraph or two while leaving the writer's most quotable quotations intact. This is why we said, "Don't worry if it's well-written... just tell the story in your own words." My writerly-editorly-authorly friend Bill (www.billthorness.com) predicts this approach may offend the professional writers in the room, but, well, again... there it is. We're not out to offend anyone. We just want to enrich our book -- as space allows -- with authentic "lived experience" from actual people in midlife, input we believe will help to convey the essential messages of our "50 Ways."

Hope that clears things up. Should you have any other questions about our book or our Call for Stories, don't hesitate to email me at sheilakey@newmexico.com or leave a comment here at the blog.

The "Cliffs Notes" Version

2006-07-19T09:44:00.000-07:00

Call for Stories

We’re seeking true stories from people in midlife, for possible inclusion in our book. What kind of stories? See our 50 suggested themes below. Don’t just tell us what happened; TELL US HOW THE EXPERIENCE CHANGED YOU, as well as any advice you may have for people facing similar situations! Stories should be as brief as possible (and we reserve the right to edit for length and clarity -- or simply to excerpt as needed). Don’t worry if it’s well-written; just tell the story in your own words. For more complete information about our book's contents, see the series of posts titled "Call for Stories."

Email your input to sheilakey@newmexico.com. Please include your real name, your (real!) age, and the first name (real or not) that you’d like us to use for you in our book and/or blog. DEADLINE: September 30, 2006 (though sooner is definitely better!)

ITCHING TO BLOG US BACK IMMEDIATELY? GO RIGHT AHEAD! Leave your comment here.

Fifty Suggested Story Ideas (feel free to think up your own)

1. The Classic Midlife Crisis (whatever that means to you)
2. Near-death experience
3. Mentoring a young person (on the job or as a Big Brother/Big Sister)
4. “I’m a foster parent."
5. Caring for elderly parents
6. “I became a parent for the first time in midlife”
7. Hypnotherapy or self-hypnosis for lifestyle change
8. "I got Rolfed!"
9. First-hand experience with the Alexander Method
10. Confronting addiction
11. Junk-food junkie no more!
12. “I lost the weight and kept it off”
13. Reducing dependence on Rx meds through diet, exercise, and/or other natural means
14. Loving your body after disfiguring accident or surgery
15. “I ‘feng-shui’ed my home! (garden, work place, whatever)”
16. “How journaling changed my life.”
17. FINANCIAL PLANNER! Help!! What’s your advice for the midlifer who never got around to saving for retirement (yet)??
18. Radical change in your belief system
19. "I truly believe that stranger was an Angel, right here on earth!"
20. "Group meditation can change the world -- I've seen it happen!"
21. Lucid dreaming
22. Solving the problems of waking life while you sleep
23. Hey Sailor! Tell us what it really means to "go with the flow."
24. Healing trauma -- even years later
25. Better living through chanting and/or drumming
26. Howling at the moon -- what do we mean by this? We're not sure. Can you tell us?
27. How do you feed YOUR Muse?
28. Got a totem animal? How'd you meet? Then what happened?
29. "I was the proverbial 'Little Engine Who Could'!"
30. Road Trip! The long strange trip that changed your life.
31. Adventures in colonics!
32. What would you pack in your Midlife Survival Kit?
33. There are worse things in life than getting a hearing aid.
34. Lasik surgery or first pair of bifocals?
35. Pushing the envelope
36. Are you a Native American who can tell us about the Seventh Generation concept?
37. "I screwed up my courage and made the call!"
38. Life after divorce
39. PAR-TAY! Tell us of a big 5-0 celebration for the record books.
40. "The gift of my heart attack"
41. Postcards from Nirvana (the serious pursuit of enlightenment or the peak pleasure experience, your choice)
42. Are you a "wild and crazy guy" ("still crazy after all these years")?
43. "I am SO past caring about keeping up with the Joneses!"
44. New romance in midlife
45. Confessions of a misanthrope or "How I learned to love the entire human race"
46. Riders on the storm: surviving mental illness
47. There've been WAY too many funerals lately!
48. So what do you want carved on your gravestone?
49. Forsaking food and sleep: the masterpiece that came through you
50."I love to laugh....it's getting worse every year!"

What's up with YOU in midlife?

2006-07-17T14:00:00.000-07:00

CALL FOR STORIES!

50 Ways to Leave Your 40s

What to Do When Midlife Crisis Is Not Enough

By Sheila Key with Peg Spencer, MD

For more information about this book in progress, visit http://www.50waystoleaveyour40s.com/

or email sheilakey@newmexico.com

Our book, 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s, is a funny, soulful collection of essays, stories and informative sidebars, for people in midlife. Our publisher, New World Library, plans to market it as a gift/personal-growth book. Personally, our goal is to get it into every bathroom (and outhouse) in North America – at least until it gets translated into 26 languages. Then, watch out world!

We’re looking for “lived experience” to flesh out our 50 chapters, which are divided into the four sections of Body, Mind, Soul and Heart (though there is necessarily plenty of overlap of material). Below you'll find chapter lists with thumbnails explaining the key concepts, to give you lots of ideas for the sorts of stories we're seeking.

50 Ways focuses (obviously) on the late-40s/early-50s passage, but pretty much any “midlife” story will fit. Please send us brief anecdotes related to our chapter ideas. Also welcome: your favorite movies, music, books, pop-cultural references, jokes, one-liners, quotations, websites... really, whatever ideas our chapter lists evoke in you.

Send it all! We'll sort it out!

Don’t worry about where your story “fits.” We’ll sort that out, too. Don't even worry if it's well-written! Just tell us your story in your own words. While we are always on the look-out for what pro photographers call "the money shot" (and we -- or, at least, I, Sheila -- call "the quotable quote"), we are happy to accept what you've written, however you've written it, and, with your permission, to "pretty it up" later.

Finally, as you may have guessed, this ain’t a payin’ gig. As mentioned, we reserve the right to edit what you send – or to not use it at all. In any case, you have our undying gratitude and at least a chance of seeing your story in print – coming in Fall 2007 to a bookseller near you (ISBN 1-57731-545-6).

SPREAD THE WORD!! -- hopefully RIGHT NOW, while the people in your life still have the chance to submit their story, too!

Email your input to sheilakey@newmexico.com. Please include your real name, your (real!) age, and the first name (real or not) that you’d like us to use for you in our book and/or blog.

DEADLINE: August 31, 2006 (though sooner is better, as we could then use your input to stimulate further comments here at the blog). Many thanks!

Call for Stories: BODY

2006-07-16T22:26:00.000-07:00

Section One: BODY

Correlations: Earth/North/Midnight

Concepts: physical health & fitness, material world, nature, all that is tangible

Way #1: Just Keep Breathing -- conscious use of breath, whether for stress reduction, in synch with exercise, for meditation, or anything else that’s breath-related (snoring, asthma, high-elevation endurance, etc.)
Way #2: Love Thy Body as Thy Self -- body image, beauty, physical changes (graying, wrinkling, sagging, spreading, fatigue, menopause, metabolism slowing down, etc.); listening to your body; loving your body in spite of it all.
Way #3: Don’t Let Gravity Get You Down -- posture, musculoskeletal issues, Alexander Method, Rolfing, bone health, “inversion boots” (or chairs), skin sagging, plastic surgery (boob jobs, tummy tucks, face lifts, collagen injections, permanent make-up, Botox, etc.), also repair of pelvic floor, bladder or uterine prolapse, etc. Plus weight training and other ways to “pump [clap!] YOU up!”
Way #4: Get Your Motor Runnin’ -- the importance of warming up first, how you rev up a slowing metabolism; caffeine and other stimulants, feeling “stuck” and how to get going; also the Eastern concept of the “dahn-jon” energy centers of the body.
Way #5: S-t-r-e-t-c-h---I-t---O-u-t -- Now that we’re warmed up, it’s time to s-t-r-e-t-c-h for muscle maintenance, flexibility, and to prevent injury. Did you learn this the hard way? Got a stretching disaster to share? Also, in the metaphorical sense: stretching beyond comfort zone, expanding horizons. Plus stretching in the sense of making something last.
Way #6: Run for Your Life! -- running and walking for fitness; running/walking buddies or groups; any kind of aerobics; keeping things “running” well in your life; “Pacing” yourself; races/marathons. Also foot problems and care, shoe stories, etc.
Way #7: Pause -- sabbatical, taking breaks and naps, recovery from hard exertion, meditation; how do you refresh & rejuvenate yourself? Also menopause
Way #8: Play Ball! -- This is mostly about the big “fitness” ball, used to strengthen core, improve balance and provide a gentler form of exercise; ball sports; the importance of play in general; also men’s health issues, prostate, male menopause, impotence, etc.
Way #9: Eat, Drink & Be Wary -- Changing your eating habits for healthier living; staying hydrated; experiences with fad diets, protein powder, power bars and other shortcuts; stories about comfort foods; overuse of caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, sleeping pills, recreational drugs, laxatives, etc.
Way #10: Take a Load Off Fanny -- body weight issues – gains and losses, “yo-yo” experiences; ALSO purging clutter, getting rid of extraneous stuff; giving things away; taking load off body, mind, and the environment. “Empty Nest” issues. Letting go of emotional baggage.
Way #11: “Fung” & “Shway” to Free Your Chi -- We could really use some feng shui stories (arranging your material sphere for balance and harmony with nature) or any stories about “rearranging your stuff.” ALSO what is your “place” in your life’s second half? Are you in “alignment”?
Way #12: Take the Waters -- hydration, skincare (moisturizers, sunscreen) Any skin cancer stories? Also swimming, water aerobics, boating, water sports, beach bumming. Tell us your SPA stories. How do you hydrate? Special drinks – tonics, elixirs, share you signature drink recipes!
Way #13: Spurn Your Bra -- clothing & other comforts. Let ‘em dangle! Tight bands and belts cut your chi. (Especially for him: “In the clearing stand your boxers.”) How has your fashion sense changed with age? Also: got La-Z-Boy? What are your other comforts? On a more serious note, this chapter also deals with breast cancer.
Way #14: Keep On Rockin’ Me Baby -- Kama Sutra, dahling! We wanna hear your sex-in-midlife stories! What’s your favorite euphemism for “doing the nasty”? Let’s talk, not just sex, but also drugs & rock’n’roll. Still rockin’ with your garage band? Any “lived experiences” involving drugs, legal and otherwise? Survivor stories? Hitting-bottom stories? Lived-to-tell-about-it stories?

Call for Stories: MIND

2006-07-16T09:55:00.000-07:00

Section Two: MIND

Correlations: Air/East/Sunrise

Concepts: brain functions, thoughts, ideas, learning, knowledge, imagination, intuition, dreams (the sleep kind & aspirations), language & math

Way #15: Please Make a Note of It -- writing as a memory aid, taking notes, journaling concepts and ideas, writing an autobiography or a memoir!
Way #16: Fuhgeddaboudit! -- the value of purposeful forgetting, the importance of forgiveness, letting go--of past, grudges, bad habits. Also memory loss and aids to memory.
Way #17: Go With the Flow -- yielding to forces bigger than yourself, finding deeper meaning by aligning with spirit, immersing yourself in meaningful activity. Also intuition, serendipity, surrender, acceptance.
Way #18: Book ‘Em Danno -- making plans for “must-do’s” for the rest of your life, booking time with important people in our lives, financial planning and other important midlife planning. Also reading for learning and enjoyment, and booking your “50 thousand mile checkup.”
Way #19: Lay a Feast for the Muses -- feeding your creativity. Need inspiration? Be the food of the gods! Make yourself the best possible material for the Muses to work with; answer your creative urges; honor your authentic self. Also wanted: feasting stories!
Way #20: Say It Loud, Sing It Proud -- the power of words & of voice. Is your inner voice a supporter or a detractor? Communication, speaking your truth, chanting, singing, vocalizing, oral history. Also the healing qualities of sound.
Way #21: Know Your Yin From Your Yang -- duality and balance, change, East/West medicine: energy meridians, chi flow, stagnation, chakras. Also menopause as yin deficiency.
Way #22: Seize the Night – speaking of duality… don’t forget to “embrace the dark side”! Tap your subconscious, dream big, “sleep on it,” get up “dark & early”! Long nights of the soul, howling at the moon, dreaming. Also insomnia, sleep issues.
Way #23: Shake It Up Baby Now -- getting out of that rut! Doing something new, or something old in new ways. Growing your neural pathways and retraining your brain.
Way #24: Imagine All the People -- the power of vision & visualization, both individually and collectively; imagination, ritual, collective consciousness, community. Visualization in health and healing. Also vision in terms of eyesight.
Way #25: Believe It or Don’t – keeping an open mind, the power of prayer. Beliefs can help us, can also limit us. Can you list your “Top Ten Beliefs”? Have your beliefs changed as you’ve gotten older?
Way #26: Dance on the Head of a Pin -- pondering those unanswerable questions, life balance, striving to dwell among the angels – or even count yourself among the angels – on earth! Also physical balance as it relates to aging, proprioception.

Call for Stories: SOUL

2006-07-16T08:34:00.000-07:00

Section Three: SOUL

Correlations: Fire/South/Noon

Concepts: actions, deeds, livelihood, spirituality, destiny, the eternal; also encounters

Way #27: Get Your Hands Dirty -- the value of hard work, gardening, planting trees, getting “down in the trenches,” building something from scratch. “If you build it they will come.” Also handwashing.
Way #28: Go Win One for the Team – “The whole is greater than the sum of the parts.” “Our diversity is our strength.” “Many hands make light work.” Group efforts, group process, teamwork. Also team sports.
Way #29: Sh@t or Get Off the Pot -- tick-tock, y’all! You gonna do that thing you’ve been talking about forever or what? Just do it! “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it” Getting started with the new, also dumping [sic] [or sick!] the old. Plus colon health. Got any hemorrhoid stories? Colonoscopy tales? Colonics, anyone?
Way #30: Hit the Road Jack -- Road trip! Explore the world, get out of town, enjoy a change of scene, visit far-flung friends. Staying healthy on the road. Also, the journey as metaphor --- as long as there’s movement within, there’s growth.
Way #31: Get Lost -- This is where the adventure begins! “Not all who wander are lost.” Tap into the power of chaos, make wonderful new discoveries. How do YOU “get lost” for R and R? What do you love to “get lost” in? A Buddhist master tells us to “refrain from doing the habitual thing” – this is how to awaken the soul. Plus: What would YOU pack in your “midlife survival kit”?
Way #32: Stop, Look & Listen – Time Out! Stop to smell the roses, appreciate nature, art, music. Notice! Use your senses, savor it, dwell in the now. Take stock of your life, be the observer. Attitude of gratitude. Also: “Eh? What’s that you say?” Tell us of your hearing loss and/or your lasic surgery or first pair of bifocals.
Way #33: Break On Through to the Other Side -- achieve the “aha” experience, even by tiny degrees; push for personal best, “go as far as you can, then one step further.” Find the edge. Push the envelope. Psychological breakthrough, transformation.
Way #34: Act Ageless -- letting go of the concept of “I’m too old to---” Fifty is just a number. Have you gotten any younger lately (i.e. lowered your “functional age” by getting into better shape)? Transcend the mundane; touch the eternal, dwell in the timeless. Do something “for the ages.” Revel in the “New Age.” Also, any stories related to The Great Law of the Iroquois Confederacy: “In our every deliberation, we must consider the impact of our decisions on the next seven generations”?
Way #35: Mind Your Karma, Trim Your Dogma – practicing tolerance and the Golden Rule. Know-It-Alls and Holier-Than-Thous are such a drag! By now, can you resist the craving to correct someone’s misused word? Can you refrain from insisting that yours is the only “right way” to do things? How did you learn to “live & let live”? Any “pay it forward” stories?
Way #36: En-Lighten Up -- deepening spirituality in midlife; the search for inner peace and enlightenment. The spiritual search is a serious matter, but be gentle with yourself. How do you lighten your soul’s burden?
Way #37: Shine On You Crazy Diamond – dazzling the world with your unique self! Dr. Maria Montessori believed that everyone and everything in creation has a cosmic task to fulfill. Do you know your cosmic task? How did you discover it? Also, forget what the neighbors might think, and be a wild and crazy guy! Some of history’s most brilliant diamonds have been a little (or a lot) crazy. Shrinks don’t use that word, of course, but we’re interested in success stories regarding mental illness. Pseudonyms welcome!
Way #38: Look Death Right in the Eye – A brush with death can change a person for the better. Catching a glimpse of the grim reaper across the room can wake a person up to LIFE. Has it happened to you? Also: losing loved ones, planning for the inevitable, living like you were dying. Anyone care to write your own eulogy?

Call for Stories: HEART

2006-07-16T07:44:00.000-07:00

Section Four: HEART

Correlations: Water/West/Sunset

Concepts: emotions, feelings, relationships, memories

Way #39: OK, Have a Crisis Already! – this cliché is like a get-out-of-jail-free card. If people are expecting you to have a crisis in midlife, then hey! Why not? We’re looking for stories on all the classics – the new motorcycle or convertible, say, or the sudden urge to climb Everest – as well as your own unique “take” on what it means to have a midlife crisis.

Way #40: Lose It or LOSE IT! – Can’t get no satisfaction? Then send the crazymakers packin’—before they make you crazier! As in the MIND section, where we devote a chapter to purposeful forgetting, here we encourage you to consider making some purposeful losses. Paradoxically, such losses can bring immeasurable gains! We're especially interested in stories of confronting addiction.

Way #41: Grieve – Then there are the losses we don’t choose. With aging comes all sorts of loss, and mourning is the appropriate response. Grieving your loss of youth can free you to enjoy more fully your new status as Elder! Also, have you noticed you’re attending more funerals these days? Lean into your grief and share your pain!

Way #42: Make the Call – Speaking of funerals… do you really want to go to your grave without making peace with that certain someone? Come on! Time’s a wastin’. Extend the proverbial olive branch. Even if it gets rejected, you may gain a sense of peace. Or have you already done so? Tell us about it!

Way #43: Party “Hearty” – Kick out the jams, man! It’s party time! Whether small and intimate, or huge and raucous, this is a tradition worth preserving. How do YOU plan to ring in your 50s? Or how DID you? In this chapter, we celebrate celebration as a way of life -- it's not just for special occasions anymore! “keeping it real,” relating always from the heart; also heart health.

Way #44: Respect Your Elders – No matter how grown-up you get to be, remember: There will always be others older and wiser. Besides, older is where we’re all headed, so we might as well learn from those who’ve gone before. Bask in their wisdom! We're especially interested in stories about aging-parent issues. Are you a member of the "sandwich generation," caring for both children and aging parents? Tell us about it!

Way #45: Respect Your Youngers – Remember, too, that older isn’t the only way to be wiser. There's much to be learned from looking at the world through children's eyes. Let your job as role model bring out your best self! Are you a mentor? A Big Brother/Big Sister? A foster parent? Did you become a parent for the first time in midlife? Do tell!

Way #46: Love, Love, Love – romance in midlife, whether with a new mate or within your decades-deep relationship; Also, love as a way of life, not just for your intimates, but for every sentient being! Helped a stranger lately? What's YOUR Love Story?

Way #47: Touch & Glow – Do you get by with a little help from your friends? Hey! Where would we be without them? Tending to friendships; the importance of human contact and getting/staying in touch with feelings.

Way #48: Launch Your Legacy – The Heart realm is about memories. How do you want to be remembered? We're way beyond first impressions now; what will be your lasting impression? Tell us what you want chiseled on your gravestone!

Way #49: Channel the Divine – "Hallelujah! ... Hallelujah!” Did you know Haydn wrote the Messiah in 21 days? Forsaking food and sleep, he just wrote and wrote as if there were no tomorrow! Many New Age authors insist that every one of us has access to this sort of divine inspiration. If you've experienced anything like it, we'd sure love to hear your story!

Way #50: Leave ‘Em Laughing – What better way to "leave your 40s" than to leave them laughing! Laughter heals; the good doctor Norman Cousins told us so (OK, he wrote of it) a generation ago. Even if you don't have a story to share, we hope you'll send us lots and lots of jokes.

HAVE WE LEFT ANYTHING OUT??

2006-07-15T13:16:00.000-07:00

If you've stuck with us this deep into our blog, then we're going to go ahead and count you as "interested." And interested is definitely a good way to be!

Have you got a midlife story to tell, but you can't see quite where it fits in our book? Well, send it to us anyway!! First of all, if we like the story, we'll figure out a place to put it. But perhaps even more important, even with 50 chapters, each of which is multifaceted, we fret now and then that there's a glaring omission we haven't noticed yet -- and you may be just the person to point it out to us!

So DO TELL! Send us your story, even if -- indeed, especially if -- you don't see a chapter about it in any of the foregoing calls for stories.

Thanks!

Writers in the Storm

2006-07-10T07:13:00.000-07:00

Sheila and I are just back from an intensive week at 9500 ft breathing rarefied air and writing like madwomen. It was as lovely and fulfilling as it looks.

This is the view from our cabin porch. Talk about inspiration!

Our work "space". Note timer, resource books, Angel cards and, of course, caffeine!

Clowning at the cabin.

Relaxing in town on the 4th of July.

Blog back prompts

2006-04-22T15:03:00.000-07:00

I'd like to post a few specific questions here for readers to respond to. These are ideas/events/passages that many share, and we're looking for stories to include in the book. You don't have to be literary about it, just tell us your story and we can re-tell it if necessary.

Tell us about something new you did in your 40's or 50's.
What do you do for relaxation?
What is a creative outlet for you?

(Ack! Someone at the door. Di and Sheila - please add more!)

Peg 4/21

On again, off again

2006-04-19T10:30:00.000-07:00

Hi Peg. Hi readers all. Peg is right: internet access is catch-as-catch-can here at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. Actually, all the buildings of this world-class facility have wireless networks people can use for free, but that doesn't always guarantee I can access the internet -- indeed, I'm off more than on, it seems. All the walls around here are lined with lead, so cell phones are useless, and I suspect the same culprit is what's frustrating my attempts to go online. My email isn't getting to me -- indeed, for some inexplicable reason, it's not even getting to my internet service provider, so web mail does me no good. I realize it was not that long ago we survived just fine without all these technologies, but now that I'm accustomed to having internet access on demand... well, these current difficulties are harshing my mellow.

I'll survive. And I'll be back at'cha on Monday, if not sooner.

Hi Sheila! Good to hear from you, from your lead-lined Hall of Health. Don't worry; life goes on and your bloggees are still here.

I've been doing some research for The Book and have discovered some cool things. For example, it is okay to freeze water bottles but microwaving plastic doesn't get blanket approval. You can make your own Oral Rehydration Solution at home, and I have some recipes. Human Growth Hormone is NOT the fountain of youth. It's possible to "overdose" on water.

My research location is none other than our favorite Napoli coffee shop, where I think I've just about overstayed my welcome. The mocha and scone are long gone, and I need a break before I start putting some of this acquired wisdom into my own words.

Write on!

Love,

Peg

Oh, Hey! I just saw that I am now able to do more than just comment! I knew this was coming, but forgot. (mid-life memory? whassat?) Thanks for including me. -- Di

I'm leaving on a jet plane

2006-04-18T22:58:00.000-07:00

Sing it with me: "...Don't know when I'll be back again. Oh babe, I hate to go..."

OK, I actually do know that I'll be back on the 23rd, late. And I don't really hate to go, because I'm going in order to be a caregiver for my brother, who's battling liver cancer, so there's absolutely no hate involved.

Anyway, as soon as a fellow passenger here at the "charging station" near Gate A12 told me that she was discovering free wi-fi, well, I couldn't resist doing a little blogging from Albuquerque's newly (or, perhaps, continually) renovated International Sunport. So... here it is.

OH! And none too soon. They're calling my flight. Ciao for now. I'll 'blog' ya next from the Twin Cities. One of my other brothers, the one who actually lives in that area, has tix for us for tonight's Twins-(um?)Yankees game. I think it's the Yanks; know for sure it's the Twins, of course. So, Peg! By tonight I'll be "doing research" for our Way #8: Play Ball!

Gotta go.

Enjoy the game, Sheila, and the family time. Best wishes go with you for your brother's health. I'll be doing my best to format those docs we discussed and do my marginalia assignments. Today while you were flying, I was "doing research" for our Way #(oh dear, I don't know them like you do)"Win one for the team" by running line on three consecutive soccer games. Lordy I'm whupped from trying to keep pace with 14 year olds! Will this keep me youthful when I turn 50?

Love
Peg

Dear Readers - I believe Sheila does not have internet access where she is. I'm sure she'd be blogging daily if she did. Please bear with us (all you dozens of loyal readers) while we both write outside the blog. She'll be back in a few days.
Peg 4/18/06

Middle Aged Memory

2006-04-16T22:55:00.000-07:00

Reader, if you can relate, let us know with a comment or a story about your own memory "issues"!

Middle Aged Memory

I remember exactly what I need until the moment I leave the room in search of it. It’s as if a magic breeze flows through the house, sweeping my mind clean of its every intention the moment I cross a sill. Gone. Empty. Forgotten. I stand there, bemused, searching for the thought I had possessed a scant moment before. Where was I going? What was I looking for?

If I fight it, if I get angry or frustrated, if I grieve my aging acuity, all is lost.

But if I stand receptive, in silence, lo and behold. The currents swirl, the breeze comes around again. Gentle as a settling leaf, it drops my thought back into my head, and twists away chuckling.

Joker.

What! Your thought comes back? You mean, without even having to go back to the room where it was conceived? Wow! Now there's an awesome middle-aged memory!

Hahaha! I've heard "proper names & then nouns" go first. Where I work, we just substitute the word "thing" for whatever we've forgotten. It gets pretty comical!

Seriously, though, I got some great advice from a wise man (yes!) who said, "You know you know it. Just ask!" What?? Well, one day Dave & I were headed out and I was upstairs thinking, "when I go down, I need to get the house key out of the drawer" (don't ask). Shortly thereafter, I go downstairs and into the kitchen (well past said drawer) and think "now *what* was I going to do?" I remembered my wise friend and stood there in the kitchen, back to the counter and said to meself "I know you can tell me what I'm trying to remember. I've been told to 'just ask,' so, please? And then it came, "the key." How do you like that? Try it sometime!

The Twins sent those Yankees packin'

2006-04-16T18:03:00.000-07:00

Last night’s ballgame was fabulous. It was against the Yankees, after all. The Twins had been ahead 4-0 early on, then the Yanks made it 4-5, where it stood heading into the bottom of the ninth – and wouldn’t you know those Twins would go and score two on a single by Justin Murnow! (Don't know if I'm spelling that name right; except for such biggies as the Olympics, Superbowl and World Series, I don't follow sports much.) As he went to the plate, the Twins had runners on 2^nd and 3^rd and only two outs, so those runners were running by time Murnow’s grounder left his bat. Then it was all over for the big, bad Yankees -- and for those obnoxious Yankee fans who were sitting right across from us. Very exciting end to a very good game! And now I can say I’ve seen the exalted Yankees play live.

Only wish I hadn’t done any business with the beer vendors -- not after those two glasses of red wine I had earlier at the home my brother’s friend. Made for a yucky Easter morning. You’d think, "at my age" (a phrase always spoken in a little-old-lady voice), that I’d know better than to mix my grape ande grain. Ugh!

Sounds exciting, Sheila! Now you can check off "See the exalted Yankees play live" from your List. Keep us posted as to your exploits up there in the North country. Love, Peg

(PS I've archived all the blog entries up 'til this one into Word files on my laptop. Now I can check that off my list, at least for this week!)

Hail Mary, Mother of God

2006-04-13T16:31:00.001-07:00

Peg! Check out this email I got this afternoon:

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Flashing You the Big Five-Oh!":

HI Sheila,

i was sent by your pal Diane whom i have had the pleasure of corresponding with via Zaadz.com.
How may I be of service to you? What in particlar do you need feedback or support around? I'd be happy to offer support.

Mary

Is that cool or what?

HEY, DIANE -- Thanks for sending Mary our way! I sent her a quickie email on my way out to get the kids, as she was kind enough to provide her direct e-dress. (Or is it idress nowadays?) Suggested she explore the "Official Website," starting with the Chapter Titles & Teasers. Copied in the link... that is, in the email I did. All these months as a blogger and still I'm html-phobic! I'm gonna invite her to become a member of the blog...

MARY?! ARE YOU CHECKING BACK? Did you get my invitation? Did you explore the Official 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s website? http://www.50waystoleaveyour40s.com/index.html

READERS ALL! To go straight to the chapter list -- to read up on the "50 Ways" themselves -- go to http://www.50waystoleaveyour40s.com/chapters.html. Way better than any old ordinary table of contents, this one Diane has rigged up with a cool little roll-over utility: just roll your mouse over any one of the Ways, and a thumbnail description of that chapter will appear.
Thank you, Diane!

(I don't call the woman WebsterGirl for nothing! Picture her in superhero's spandex...)

OK, I gotta go.

Love, love, LOVE to you all, Diane, Peg and now Mary. See how great love is? Great Goddess Almighty, Mary arrives out of the blue saying what can I do? Care to lengthen this poem?

Wow,

Sheila

Fantastish, my deah! Welcome, Ms. Mary! Please do come back, share your stories, and tell all your friends to come too!

Love
Peg

Authors, Incorporated

2006-04-13T10:40:00.000-07:00

Hey! Lookie here! I'm posting this at the very minute the moon is reaching full!

Just a quick note to all who may care: Peg and I "sealed the deal" today, signing our agreement as the moon waxed to full within the Zodiac's most balanced, harmonious and cooperative sign, Libra. Woo-hoo! And on the 13th of the month, no less.

(Pop Quiz! How many full moons are there in a year?)

So! Sheila Key and Peggy Spencer are now officially book-writing partners (even if we are not, according to the strict letter of the law, incorporated). Congratulations to us!

P.S. Peg -- Diane told me how you can make your full name appear under Contributors, at the top. Let me know if you're interested.

I'm so excited I have to post in my favorite purple. Sealed deal on the full moon! It's gotta be good luck!

I'll feel 100% settled when we get the contract from NWL and make it Official, but, as we said earlier today after signing, it's our commitment to each other that's most important.

I'm honored, pleased, excited, tickled purple!

Write on!

Love,

Peg

PS Sure, put my full name at the top.

PPS I know I should be doing ALL my writing for 50 Ways, but I'm not. I've been writing on my pegspot blog (true confessions). But hey, it's all practice, right? Please do come visit.
PegSpot

Sheila here again -- you'll know it's me by the orange I wear... (now that I finally found the "compose" screen with the text-color tool so obviously available!).

Diane told me, to change your name as it appears under Contributors, you'd have to go in at your end, Peg, under Edit Profile, and change your Display Name. Diane said changes in this field will affect all the places where your name is currently auto-generated as peg. If you'd rather not be Peggy Spencer MD throughout the known blogosphere, please choose a comfortable alternative. In any case, my internal English teacher wants to insist that you at least capitalize, my dear partner!

Done! I compromised. Did the capitalization, did the full name, left off the MD. It's in my profile anyway.

You look good in orange!

peg --oops, I mean Peggy Spencer, Medical Doctor!!!

The moon may be waning now, but I'm still grinning.
I like the 'new you' under Contributors.

orangely, Sheila

So clean it shines

2006-04-12T11:37:00.000-07:00

Good morning, Peg. And it IS still morning, how about that? I've been busy-busy. Looking forward to our first beefy work session at noon -- and glad to be meeting over here this time. I always owe a debt of gratitude to my guests, for the clean house they inspire me to create.

Hey, did I ever tell you about "cleaning exercise" that comes at the end of my Dahn yoga classes? It's another story, to be sure, but permit me to boast. I not only swept. And I didn't even mop. I got down on my hands and knees, as we do after yoga, and scrubbed the floor! OK, not the whole floor; I stopped at the back hallway. Still, together with the major "tidy-up blast" we did last weekend, it's looking fairly decent around here, if I say so myself.

Hey -- it's you on the phone! Sandwich? Sure: turkey & provolone on whole wheat, w/everything. Thanks for asking! See you soon.

More from 26.2 Mama

2006-04-10T11:02:00.000-07:00

A couple days ago I posted a tiny bit of the transcript from my interview with Stephanie Robey, my marathoning friend in L.A. Here's more of what she had to say -- indeed, this is the "meat of the matter" and a wonderful contribution to Way #4: Run for Your Life!

What I learned from marathoning – you were talking about how you trip yourself up, how things get out of control – well, that happened to me, Sheila, in a huge way about 7 or 8 years ago. I had a falling out with my brother and my dad about a business deal, and it just seemed like my life was so out of control. I had three businesses going and everything was out of control. My finances..., my marriage… I just felt like everything was out of control, right? I think that’s why the whole idea of marathoning appealed to me.

They say that people who choose to do [marathons] are just complete control freaks. ‘Cause, you know, it’s all about YOU! [laughs] Yeah, they say anyone who... does any kind of ultra-sporting, that they are just complete control freaks. What you learn is that you are completely in control!

You know, you can do a thing – even a thing as big as this – if you just break it up into bite-size chunks. But there is no way you can go out and run 26.2 miles without training. There’s just no way. I know people who are cross-country champions, people who are really elite runners, and (after their first marathon) they say, ‘Well, I’m a really good distance runner, I'm fast, I run a 6- 7-minute mile. I thought I’d have no problem on a marathon. And I was doing really great until I hit 16 miles. Then I crashed.”

The thing about marathoning is, it doesn’t matter who you are, you have to train for it. Your body --- It’s such a huge feat on your body that you have to break it up. You have to get your body into some kind of condition to run it. And it takes time! It takes, minimum, 4 months, and you should allow 6 months...

Now, I look at everything in terms of, "OK, here’s the goal. Here’s the Big, Hairy Audacious Goal: I want to sell my company. Here’s the goal: I want X amount of dollars." So, then you just turn around and go, “Well, what’s the training schedule? What are we going to do -- monthly, weekly, daily -- to meet this goal?” You have to work it out. “Where am I at the halfway point? Where am I at the three-quarter point? What are my milestones?” Just like in the marathon! Then you know, when you get into it, you learn the process, you’ve laid out your whole plan. And it doesn’t have to be like a 50-page business plan. It could be a mental plan, but you’ve laid it out, so you know, “By this date, I’m here.” And when you hit that date, if you’re not there, well, you readjust. And it keeps you from panicking. It keeps you from panicking.

Same thing when you’re running a marathon: You’re at that start line, the gun goes off, you’ve trained, you don’t know what your time is going to be, but you know you’re ready, and you know, in that first mile, you actually have to hold yourself back, because you have to conserve your energy.

And when you hit the first 5K, you think, “Hey, I just ran a 5K!” You’re not thinking, “Oh my God, I still have 23 miles to go.” You never think that. You think, “I’ve done the 5K.” Pretty soon, “Oh, I just ran a 10K.” Soon after that, it’s “Look, I’ve finished the half-marathon.”

OK, then you hit the wall, and everything in your mind and body says, “Oh my God, stop now!” And yet, you’re going, “I only have a 10K to go! Look how far I’ve come, and all I have left to do is 6 miles.” You know, you just start breaking it down that way, and that's --- That has helped me tremendously with everything in life. I don’t care if it’s gardening, if it’s remodeling the house, if it’s helping my husband get a new career going, whatever it is, I stop and say, “What’s the goal?” and “Let’s break it down.”

Even turning 40 and 45 and all that stuff, even at that point, I’m able to now say, “OK, when I’m 50, I want to be here. Where am I today? How difficult is that? Is it really possible? And what do I need to do to get there?”

So, getting back to the whole control issue, you know, people are called control freaks, and we take that to be an insult, really. But in actuality, it’s not an insult. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being in control. It’s just being in control of yourself verses controlling other people. There’s a big difference.

It just occurs to me as I said that, that the best part about coaching kids to run the marathon – and now I have a team of women runners that I run with – is that, it’s so funny: We as individuals don’t always believe in ourselves, but other people who don’t even know us that well can have tremendous faith in us. And it’s so easy, just by encouraging people, when they say to me, “Oh, I’ll never even run a 10K,” I’ll just have to chuckle to myself, because, after a couple months, they’re out there running and training, and the next thing you know, they’re running a 10K! And they don’t even remember that old voice, you know, that self-talk of “I’ll never, I can’t.” You know, they did it!

Way #8: Play Ball!

2006-04-10T10:37:00.000-07:00

Welcome back, Peg! It was fun to read your post from the road. I know what happens in Vegas is supposed to stay in Vegas, but, you mentioned playing three games with your 45+ women's team... May I ask: How did your team do? Don't want to come right out and ask, "Did you win?" because I know it's not always about winning. But I did want to ask how y'all felt about, you know, what happened in Vegas.

Of course you may ask. We actually played another game the following morning at 8am, for a tournament total of 4 games. Our record was 0:2:2. That's 0 wins, 2 ties, and 2 losses. We were actually quite pleased with that given our past record (pathetic) and our numbers (too few healthy, too many injured). As to what else "happened in Vegas"...I'm afraid we're all too old, er, I mean, wise for any craziness. We dined, we (mostly window-) shopped, we people watched. We noticed that our shoes were flat and our chests covered, as contrasted to the more "typical" (if there is such a thing) Las Vegas female tourist. We congratulated ourselves on our good sense and pain-free backs as a result. Oh, and we ate at In-N-Out Burger twice! French fries fresh off the potato - yum! I didn't gamble a single cent.

Also, Peg. I was thinking... How would you like to 'play ball' on this chapter? I myself am not much of an athlete, at least not in terms of team sports. But as you know from my notes in The Tome (translation: our big, three-ring Book of the Book), team sports has a place in this chapter. I hadn't thought it would be the central place -- that, I thought, would be the big exercise ball they use in gyms these days -- but now I'm thinking (oh no, I feel a metaphor a'comin')...

How 'bout we run a reverse play? How about I pass the ball to you on this one?

I'm open, I'm open! Running down the line, ready for a pass, I'll receive, shoot and score!!!

The exercise-ball bit becomes a sidebar that I write, and the team-sports bit becomes the central chapter essay, written by YOU, the new rookie (um) runningback on this project! (OK, tell me some of the positions in soccer -- since, in my ignorance, I'm trotting out words from the other kind of football.)

You be the sweeper (that's the last defender before the goalkeeper - crucial position). I'll be the left (as in "out in left field" to mix metaphors) midfielder.

What do you say, Peg? Wanna "Play Ball"?

I'm game. Kickoff in five, four.....let's talk! Love, Peg

Love, Sheila

P.S. from PS - For this chapter, I'm thinking not only about writing about my experience with soccer (stay active, do a team sport, etc - include other ball sports like racquetball and tennis, other team sports like kickball, softball), but also about "stepping up to the plate" - getting involved in something you believe in, take action. Like your "get in the game" and "get off the bench" notes for this chapter. As I said, let's huddle!

What Happens in Vegas

2006-04-08T20:04:00.000-07:00

Hello from Sin City!

I've come out here for a perfect 50 Ways event. It's a women's "friendly" soccer tournament. Nobody under 30 allowed. Women from all over the West gather to enjoy the city and each other, and run around in the desert sun kicking a ball. The teams are divided into: Over 30, Over 40, Over 45, and Over 52 (don't ask me where they got that one). I'm thrilled to be playing on an Over 45 team, with other gals about my speed.

I chuckled today when I heard one of my teammates speaking to her daughter back home on the phone. "Are you getting ready for your game, honey? So am I!"

We had three games today and now I have to quit cuz the gals are chomping at the bit to go to Caesar's Palace for dinner and shopping at FAO Schwartz. Might toss a nickle in a slot machine, but all you gotta do is look at all the glitz and you can see who wins all the wagers around here!

Love,
Peg

26.2 Mama

2006-04-07T13:24:00.000-07:00

My friend Stephanie took up marathoning a while back. What fun to talk with her yesterday for the first time since my husband and I moved away from her neck o' the woods in 1994! After cutting the call short to go get the kids from school, I called her back to hear one of her stories again, this time with tape rolling.

Here's a partial transcript:

My son Austin got into [marathoning] when he was 10, through the LA Unified School District…There’s this special program [called Students Run L.A.] sponsored by Honda. They’ve had it for about 13 years now, and basically what they do is they train junior-high-age and high-school-age kids – many of them at-risk kids – to run marathons.

It’s not about racing. It’s not about having a fast time. It’s about the journey and setting a huge – what we call in graduate school a big, hairy, audacious goal, a B-HAG. [Steph, 44?, recently earned her MBA at Pepperdine.] A B-HAG is something that you think never in a million years could you do – like, these at-risk kids, some of them think, ‘Never in a million years will I amount to anything. I’m going to be just like my parents, I’m going to be on welfare, I’m not going to have a job, I’m going to sell drugs, you know, I’m going to be a gangbanger,’ right? So they take these kids and they say, ‘We’re going to train you to run a marathon.’
And I was a coach…

Now, I’ve gotta tell ya, a lot of kids, they come in to the program and they have attitude, and… they can’t even run a mile. But for whatever reason –remember, they choose to be there; it’s a purely optional after-school program – so for whatever reason, they show up, they run a mile, and they think, ‘OK, that wasn’t too bad.’ Then, the next week we’re up to three miles. Then, all of a sudden, they’re running 16, 18 miles! And their posture changes, you know they stand up straight, they’re proud of themselves, they start doing their homework, their grades improve, some of them start running for office and taking on extra-curricular activities in school. But the coolest thing about Students Run L.A. – for 12-15 years they’ve monitored the kids who’ve done this, and there’s this one girl now who’s training for the U.S. Olympic marathon team. That’s cool, but listen, this is the coolest thing about Students Run L.A.: They have a 99% success rate of these kids going on to finish college.

Doesn’t that give you goose bumps?

…I did it because I didn’t know if I could do it. [laughs] And yet, there I was, I thought, if these little 10- and 11-year-olds can do this, then, by God, I can help them. So I got into the program for my own reasons, but I ended up – I’ve trained, by now, more than 200 kids to finish the L.A. Marathon. And it’s so cool because now I go on the campus near where my kids go to high school – they go to two different high schools, but anyway – I go onto this campus, and these kids I’ve known since they were 11 years old, there they are! And they’re like, “Hi, Mrs. Robey!” It is the greatest feeling in the world, it really is.

So I’m a marathon mom, that’s what they call me. My license plate on my minivan is “26.2 Mama.”

Habit Forming

2006-04-07T05:39:00.000-07:00

For more than half an hour now, I've been sitting here like Charlie Kaufman (as played by Nicholas Cage) in "Adaptation" -- body slouched at my keyboard, fingers poised to tap out brilliance, mind straying anywhere but toward the task at hand. Every fiber of my being wants to go back to bed, but the (shall we say) non-fibrous part of me is determined not to.

I think of Wayne Dyer, talking about Rumi's poetic advice -- "The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you; don't go back to sleep." Having decided to use this advice to compel himself into an early-rising habit, he made up his mind that whenever he awoke in the wee hours, he would force himself to at least put his feet on the floor.

"Try it," he said, "and if you absolutely must go back to sleep, then learn to sleep in a sitting position, so you can keep your feet on the floor."

So I figure I'm making progress in my bid for better habits. Even if all I do here is sit here, body slouched, fingers poised, mind straying.... at least my feet are on the floor.

Sheila - You're a better dawncracker than I am, Gunga Din! Funny - your "feet on the floor" reminds me of the admonition given my grandmother when she attended the first co-ed college in the country (Oberlin College, 1926). "Young ladies may have gentelman guests in their room as long as they maintain the following rule: Four feet on the floor, and a basket in the door. " (wastebasket) Those were the days!

As you know, my internet was down yesterday, which would have been inordinately frustrating except that I spent most of the day sleeping off a stomach virus. I'll get back in the fray today. I have a ten hour drive to Las Vegas with a plug adaptor - that oughta create productivity, eh? Kinda like your scarf-on-the-chair-arm trick.

Love
Peg

Getting up dark and early

2006-04-06T06:30:00.000-07:00

Managed to set my alarm in the a.m. this time. Been up writing for an hour already. Now sunrise approaches, judging by the color of the sky outside my clerestory windows. AND that rooster crowing his fool head off in the distance.

Way #19: Seize the Night
This is in the MIND section of the book, the realm of thoughts, ideas, the creative process, dreams.
I am so much more a night owl than an early bird, but I have found there is no better time to write than in the predawn hours. (The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don't go back to sleep.) So I drag my sorry butt out of bed, brew up some strong coffee, and plant myself in front of my screen. I have not resorted to tethering my arm to the chair -- not yet -- but, as I say, it's early.

The Way of TODAY (by God!)

2006-04-05T12:12:00.000-07:00

Ever tried tying yourself to your chair, in a desperate bid to finish the task at hand? "Desperate times call for desperate measures," right? So I've brought not one but two fresh, hot beverages with me to my desk this morning, and -- God help me! -- I've redeployed my custom-painted silk neck scarf as something of a tether, to bind my left elbow loosely to the arm of the chair. Let the dog bark, let the doorbell ring; come hell or high water, I'm not getting up from this chair until I've clicked "Publish Post" below. So there.

OK, I don't want to use the B-word -- you know, as in "writer's b _ _ _ _" -- but I have been trying to write this [more unmentionable words] chapter for weeks now, this one called Way #18: Lay a Feast for the Muses. Yeegadz, had the Muses truly been coming for dinner, imagine! I'd be frantically dialing the 9-1-1 of pizza delivery services about now. How tacky would THAT be?

Did you ever see the film, "Adaptation," in which the screenwriter Charlie Kaufman struggles with the task of adapting Susan Orlean's The Orchid Thief for the big screen? Oh man, I laughed 'til I cried -- or did I cry 'til I laughed? Either way, it was painfully humorous to watch Charlie Kaufman's character (a screenwriter named Charlie Kaufman) go through his mental, emotional, psychological and sometimes even physical contortions to get the job done. I remember telling my therapist about the scenes in which he's bent over his 1980s-era typewriter, fingers poised -- yeah, more like fingers paralyzed! -- while, in voiceover, his thoughts stray...

"I wish I had some coffee," he thinks. "Yeah, coffee and a muffin... Wait. I should get some writing done and then go get coffee and a muffin... as a reward. Yeah, that's what I'll do." [long pause, fingers still idle, pause... pause........]

"...Banana-Nut, that's a good muffin."

God, I laughed! I have SO been there. I have SO done that. Same with a later scene: Bent over his typewriter again, this time Charlie bursts into a frenzy of typing, while in voiceover he narrates his script's opening line, something about an old-model pickup truck hurtling down a dirt road in Florida's Everglades and turning right at a sign for a nature conservancy (or thereabouts). At the end of this single sentence, our hapless hero sits back from his keyboard, heaves a heavy sigh and says out loud, "I need a break!"

Any writers in the room? Raise your hand if you've been there, done that? You know I'd raise mine, too, but it's tied to the chair just now.

OK, so I told my therapist about these scenes from "Adaptation," together with my confession that this is ME all over the place. She smiled and nodded, knowingly (the way therapists always do, right?). Then, by golly, she earned her long dollars as a professional therapist by saying, "Well, at least he keeps putting himself in the position. He's struggling, to be sure, but he keeps trying, keeps showing up, keeps sitting there in front of his typewriter."

YESS! And I've got another name for it. What Kaufman's neurotic (yet exemplary) character keeps doing in that movie is.... LAYING A FEAST FOR THE MUSES! Because, not to gross anybody out or anything, but when you're hosting a feast for the Muses, the question is not "what's on the menu?" but rather "who?" And the answer, dear one, is always YOU!

Newcomers to this blog may be interested to know that I've been developing this book idea, 50 Ways to Leave Your 40s, for more than five years now. I've been gathering ideas, talking to people, entering writing contests with the proposal, shopping it around to agents and editors. I even upgraded my desktop computer and bought a laptop -- equipping myself, making myself perfectly ready to write the book. I want -- I need -- all available Muses to hover near. So all these years, I have been putting together the best possible, most delicious, visually appealing, awe-inspiring, nutritionally balanced, gloriously celebratory (albeit metaphorical) FEAST that I could possibly muster, so as to wine and dine the divine nine, Los Muses!

So, after signing a book deal with New World Library before Christmas (and considering that such a deal made my feast-laying preparations complete), I chose this chapter, Way #18: Lay a Feast for the Muses, as one of the first chapters I'd write. And yet, the chapter wouldn't come. Try as I might -- this way, that way, every which way but loose -- the words just would not flow! The chapter refused to be tamed!

Now, this week, as I'm welcoming "the good doctor" Peggy Spencer into this project (Welcome again, Peg, and thank you for your WILLINGNESS & READINESS-- two more yummy treats for the gods!), it occurs to me: Maybe the reason this chapter wouldn't come together is that I had not quite finished laying the feast yet.

Are you familiar with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator? Well, whether you are or not, I was in no way surprised, when I took the test, to learn that I am (as I like to put it) "OFF-THE-CHARTS EXTROVERTED." Anyone who knows me knows that. I am a TALKER. I am what today's educators would call (as they do in the cases of both of my children) "high-verbal." ALLLLLL this to say (in my high-verbal way), that I should have known that I needed an assistant on this project. I have needed someone to bounce ideas off of. I have needed someone to talk to about it. I have needed, well, someone to help me lay a feast this royal.

In "Adaptation," Charlie Kaufman invents a twin brother for himself, one who is every bit as easy-going as Charlie himself is neurotic. I hope I've found as good a balance in the thankfully-NOT-invented Peg Spencer.

Well, lookie here. I'm gonna click "Publish," untie my scarf and go fetch my high-verbal kids from school. More soon, I promise.

Sheila - you did it! The Way of TODAY (by God!) !! You are SO FUNNY! Tied yourself to the chair with a silk scarf, did ya? I love it.

Thank you for your kind words about me. I am SO HERE for you, my friend. This will be a glorious feast!

Love,

Peg

A public blogging?

2006-04-05T10:40:00.000-07:00

Sheila - I tried to interweave comments into your morning blog, but messed up the html somehow and it wouldn't "take".

I'm here to help.

Shall I flog you publicly? "Where's that Daily Way? Come on, cough it up. Get on the stick!"

Or shall I encourage you publicly? "You can DO it, Sheila! I have faith! You ROCK!"

I prefer the second option, but am willing to do whatever you need me to do to help. Well, almost anything. Daily latte delivery is a tad out of my league. ;)

Love,
Peg

Oh, crap! Now I messed up so thoroughly that your post is lost! I'm sorry!!!! I'm the one who needs a public blogging! I'll try to fix it.

I managed to get some of it back, but somehow I lost the part about your brother. The hazards of co-blogging. My sincere apologies. Love, Peg (4/5/6)

Alarmed by my alarm clock

2006-04-05T05:31:00.000-07:00

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.

I forgot to tape that to my forehead. MAN is it hard to get out of bed this week!

Well, I'm up at dawn, so I'm here in time for the secrets. But I was supposed to be up two hours ago, "dark and early" as I like to say. I set my clock for 4:30. Yes, 4:30. Only problem is I didn't notice I was in the PM realm, not the AM realm. I woke up on my own around 6:12 and went, "awwwww!" :( Oops!

Speaking of time (aren't I always?), I've spent way too much of it by this point trying to write a blog piece about Way #18: Lay a Feast for the Muses. Once I took the process over to MSWord, so I could have the full range of word-processing tools I know and love, I let myself get mired down again. And again. Sssssiiiiiiiigghhhhhhhhh.... Don't get bogged down, get "blogged" down! Maybe if you think of it, again, as a note to me, or a series of notes to self, rather than "a piece" that will take some pressure off. Would it help if I bug you? "Where's today's blog, Sheila, where is it, huh? Come on, cough it up, girl!" Or encourage you? "You can DO it! I know you can! I have faith in you! You rock!"

Ruminating on Rumi

2006-04-04T05:45:00.000-07:00

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.

I found it! Last week, over at my friend Mary's house, I caught a bit of Wayne Dyer's latest PBS special. Mary had seen it once already, had even urged me to be on the lookout for it, as it -- that is, he, Dr. Dyer -- had helped Mary out of a funk. His message had given her enough of a nudge to overcome the quagmire of midlife inertia that had engulfed her; Dyer's message helped Mary to get moving again. Now, with her finger on the 'pause' button, she was rolling tape, capturing every word (and editing out the repeated pledge breaks!). I thought I had dropped by Mary's house for a quick hello. Instead, I helped myself to a piece of couch and settled in for an hour.

SO MANY THINGS that Wayne Dyer said really spoke to me, but none so much as these two lines he borrowed from the Persian religious scholar and poet Rumi:

"The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep."

I will be honest: I love to sleep. Were sleeping an Olympic event, I'd be a gold medalist many times over! Today, finding the full verse in my husband's copy of The Essential Rumi, translations by Coleman Barks with John Moyne (ISBN 0-7858-0871-X), I smile knowingly at the thrice-written line: Don't go back to sleep. Can't you just hear the soul struggling, "back and forth across the doorsill" between the snugly warmth of continued dreaming and the bracing chill of new-day wakefulness?

Speaking of... it's time to rouse my sleeping babes from their beds -- not an easy task so soon after "springing forward." Oh, but it is a school day and, with "Dad" at work -- doing his station's pledge breaks* -- it's all up to me, Mom, to get them there.

More soon.
Love, Sheila

* "his station" is KUNM in Albuquerque, streaming live (should you care to tune in) at http://www.kunm.org/listen/.